hello, dano

2011-12-11T01:10:00.001+08:00

Love Avril's acoustic version of What the Hell! So much better than the original. Man I was such a huge fan in primary school.

2011-09-28T18:55:00.003+08:00

Okay, so I'm not exactly very down. I just get very temperamental when Jerico annoys me with his lack of presence. You'd think that after two years in the army and a year out overseas would get us used to this not-being-physically-together arrangement. It never gets easier but it doesn't get any harder either. Apparently it is just not possible getting used to it.

But we have been together through the course of many people's break ups, so I am going to eat my words and be thankful and look forward to being back in his sauna of a hostel room in my former uni snoozing on his rock hard bed as he plays his horrible mandopop playlist and conquers his computing tutorial in 48 days.

And I am still doing very well in uni, as is Jerico. Our kids are going to science camp.

Italian Buffet @ Basilico

2011-09-16T17:32:00.002+08:00

2011-08-25T20:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you put in the effort and save up so hard for something. Sometimes, you just need to save.

And sometimes, something comes along and ruins everything you planned and saved for.

That something is my car.

Just a few hours ago, I was driving back from the park after one of the practice runs I could squeeze in before the City to Surf this Sunday. I was proud of my performance, proud that I'd made so many people proud by just deciding to sign up for the run ("Most 21 year olds would rather lie in bed," my aunt said), and proud that I've grown to become a person who'd rather part with $45 and a small donation for a cause than buy a new pair of shoes.

I was just about to turn into the driveway when my car halted and started making grinding noises.

Now I don't know a lot about cars, but I know it didn't sound good.

I turned the engine off, and started it again.

It was fine. Phew.

I switched the gear stick to drive. It started to make that funny noise. I pressed hard on my accelerator, hoping it would just move those few metres into the driveway. It didn't. So I panicked, relaxed, then called the RAC, hoping my car would be one of those casualties that could be fixed on the spot.

If I gave you a chance to guess whether it was that casualty, I'm sure you'd guess that it wasn't. The RAC guy said my car would have to be towed away to the RAC workshop.

"How much would towing cost?"

"It'll be free," the RAC guy replied.

"That's good," I thought. "At least something's going to be free out of this."

"It's not gonna be cheap, fixing this thing up. We're probably gonna have to take it apart. $800 if you're lucky. A thousand would be more like it. You're lucky you got a small car," he added.

Not lucky enough to have a car that wouldn't break down, apparently.

So here I am, sulking over why life has thrown lemons at me, and not the kind I could make lemon juice with, desperate for a miracle because what I have left for the next 3 months...is less than $1000.

Update: After writing this post, I got an update from RAC with my car's diagnosis. The problem wasn't as bad as they thought, and the estinated $1000+ in repairs was more than half of what I need to pay! I am relieved and thankful, but still extremely reluctant to part with my money.

2011-08-13T19:07:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, for some bizarre reason, I decided not to drive to school. Maybe it's because petrol has been very expensive lately, and I'm not exactly left with a lot of money for the rest of the year.

The bus ride to school was normal. The bus ride home was not.

There I was, sitting by the window, listening to my iPod, when this guy with a bad smell comes and sits next to me.

He was an aboriginal.

"Madam, do you have $2 to spare?"

"Can't you ask someone else on the bus?" I replied.

"I asked everybody else and ain't nobody give me the money so I'm sittin' here asking you," he replied.

Annoyed and scared, I fished through my wallet for a $2 coin. As my hands were shaking, I knocked a few more gold coins out of my pouch by accident.

He pointed behind to a scruffy looking aboriginal woman.

"What about another $2 for my misses over there?"

I gave him the $2.

"And what about another $2.80?"

"Why don't you ask someone else?" I said.

"How about just a dollar?" he replied.

I gave him a dollar and told him that's it. He pleaded for more, but I said no. So he went back to the aboriginal woman at the back.

"Why didn't you ask the lady for more? She's got a bloody iPod, she can bloody give you more," the woman said.

"I tried you slut she wouldn't give it to me," he replied.

"You're fuckin' useless."

At that moment, I was so angry.

I have heard countless stories about the aboriginals that live in metropolitan WA. Aboriginals that don't work and live on the dole and expect free money because this was once their land. Aboriginals that vandalise and rape and curse at random people. Aboriginals that break into houses and play the victim instead. I have heard my classmates and relatives and friends shoot off about "those bloody aboriginals". I see them smoking in their school uniforms. I see children learning to beg from their parents.

And yet, for no reason, I always stuck up for them. I always remember that this was their land, and I remember the stolen generation. I remember those who live in rural WA who are delightful people. I have registered my interest in the Working with Indigenous People workshop and plan to finish up my course with a CIP trip to a village. I listened with interest when we were discussing the media's representation of them. When people talk about them, I always say, "They can't all be like that right?"

So why was I the victim that day? Of all people, why pick me to fish money from? Why take advantage of me? Suddenly I hated them so much, and I thought about them the way so many people do. I thought they were a nuisance, a pain. They fucked up my day. They made me scared of a bus ride. They made me feel like I couldn't even sit on a bus anymore. I told myself that when I get home, I'm going to blog or tweet about this. I'm going to say that I've had enough of these people and they don't deserve anything from me anymore and I didn't care if anyone thought I was a racist in a country that wasn't even my own. I fucking had it with them and their bloody attitudes.

I got home. I had my bath. I babysat (babysitted?) for a bit. I had my dinner. I went to bed.

I woke up without any of the vile feelings I had the day before. No hatred. Nothing. I went to the gym. I did my homework. Took a nap. Still nothing.

Hatred...it isn't a feeling that I've felt in a long time. Maybe because I don't have the capacity to retain any inkling of it anymore. When you try to live your life with love and rationality, when you learn to know before you assume, you find that you cannot hate for long, if not at all.

When I think back at what happened on my bus ride, the only bitter feeling I get comes from the thought of why it all had to come down to that for the man and his misses.

For fans of my blog (haha who am I kidding), I have decided to revive this blog. I do hope I still have some readers left :)

Mega Long Post About Random Stuff

2011-05-08T09:45:00.010+08:00

I know this blog is pretty much readershipless (as I can tell from the spam comments I've been getting), so even if I write shit no one is going to say anything.

What exactly do I want to blog about? I don't know. I don't think I'm even blogging about GE per se. You see, I'm not the most intellectual person around and I know the easiest way anyone is gonna whack my opinion are by saying they are shallow. Am I shallow? I don't deny that I was pro-PAP, and a lot of it has to do with how I like my country stable and peaceful blah blah, but I am not anti-opposition either. Have I always been politically apathetic? No. In Secondary School I was a debater and I kept myself informed to look intellectual (note: I am not sayin g I am). Did I really care? No. I think being in debates and quitting after helped me realise how pretentious and lame I can be and was and I didn't want to talk about issues I sometimes have no clue about or don't give a shit about, but I digress.

When did I start taking a closer look at local politics? When I was studying in SAJC, which happened to be in Potong Pasir. I got to know about Chiam See Tong, got to see how an opposition constituency looked and was run...I'm not going to lie. It was novelty to me. It was old, a little run down, small, cosy, still had the sights, smells and sounds of old shops and other things lost to upgrading in better off constituencies.

I think people realised this election that government was about us. It's not that we didn't know that before. It's just that we are allowed to feel it so much more now.

I started to feel alienated from my government when I was 19, and I use my because isn't there supposed to be some kind of relationship? After the A levels I started working in an ice cream shop. The experience made me realise why there were so many foreign workers in the F&B/service/hospitality industry, and I didn't approve of it. And then when the results came out, I saw colleagues and classmates who were, as I knew them, amazingly smart and sociable and down to earth and genuine, but were devastated that they were unable to get into local uni for business/law/medicine. Then I looked at myself and realised that I was preparing to apply for law school for the sake of it and just because I could. It made me realise that, not just in education, but lots of hard workers were penalised despite, well, being hard workers. No one was telling anyone they were stupid, but I just felt it was so unfair that some appeals are probably not even looked at. Gosh this still frustrates me so much. I know not everyone can get what they want, I know, tough luck sometimes. But why has education become a source of unhappiness for so many? I don't believe that's the point of education.

When I was in NTU, I. Literally. Felt. Like. I. Was. The. Foreign. Student. Not so much in my faculty, but especially when I took the train home, and from the stories my friends tell me. Ugh, just let bygones be bygones right? Leave NTU already so none of my business right? NO. I am NOT happy about fellow Singaporeans fighting with foreigners over our university places. Fine, you may say I'm taking someone else's place by studying in Aus but there's like 2729831298312 universities in Aus and THREE subsidised state unis (sorry for phrasing) in Singapore. Is it fair that my friends have to hear China students saying things like "This is so easy!! I learnt this in High School in China" and then suffer on the bell curve not because they are not smart, but because they are very smart but not as smart as the Chinese students? And if you say, "Suck thumb who ask your friends don't work harder" or "They make SGreans more competitive and strive for better results BLAH BLAH" imma say thanks for making your own people feel like they aren't good enough! This just reinforces my first point that so many people work so hard, aren't in the workforce yet, but already have to settle for feeling and looking (academically) mediocre.

If I am making very hasty generalisations about how the average uni population feels (not all the elite high fliers), then I apologise. If you look at it from another point of view, how many foreign students (I don't know if they are all scholars or whatever) appreciate what Singapore is investing in them? I had long suspected it, and my thoughts were confirmed by my driving instructor (yeah not too credible a source I know) said he'd taught some foreign students before who admitted they were just here because they get free education + pocket money and had no intention of staying in Singapore or "repaying" the country in any way and were totally unappreciative. If every foreign scholar was like, for example, my NTU school mate Agung, who is a genius in my eyes and I genuinely thought what a waste when he said he'd like to go back to Indonesia to work, has made an effort to assimilate and gets along perfectly fine with Singaporeans, then I'm not complaining. But...ugh. Can someone from my government please clarify and account for this? Yes I know we need foreign talent blah blah BLAH, and I am not xenophobic/racist/hate foreigners/etc. I'm not saying we should kick em out or be mean to em BUT I want to know if it is worth denying some locals a place in uni, and if it is I WANT TO KNOW WHY.

I sometimes suspect that my unhappiness with the education system in Singapore (not what syllabus we have, but the kind of mindsets streaming and an emphasis on academic performance perpetuates) is due to the fact that my MP was Dr Ng Eng Hen, and he was the Minister for Education prior to this GE.

I think I felt most alienated from the government when I started to realise how I was becoming as a person because of the kind of "elite" school I grew up in. I suppose SCGS isn't RGS or NYGH, but it was still a "branded" school so to speak. When you come from a school like SCGS, you tend to feel like you deserve things. The kind of enrichment programs we got made us look and feel like "accomplished" people, even if we weren't the most academically inclined. The way our teachers used to tell us that we're becoming women of asset to the society...that's not a bad thing. Many SCGS girls do end up becoming assets to society, but how many go on to do so knowing what the other side of the world is like? You know what? When I started dating Jerico, I started to realise how different our Primary and Secondary school lives were. I had, on so many occasions, exclaimed, "What? You didn't get to do XYZ?" I also realised I didn't have too many friends from neighbourhood schools or non-independent schools. I didn't even know what Nitec was. These schools are great schools but I personally feel that there's a sense of disconnect between graduates of such schools and the rest of the schools in Singapore. Not everyone is like that though. I am consciously making generalisations here.

But this is where I realised a lot of politicians have forgotten what it is like to be an average Singaporean. Or they aren't sure what really happens "below" them.

They don't realise that while it may seem like Singaporeans are becoming more affluent, have stable jobs, and reasonable education, not is a CEO, a doctor or a lawyer.

They don't realise that not everyone earns a ton of money, speaks well and can send their kids to "good" schools. They don't realise that not everyone appreciates studying or political jargon.

They don't remember what it is like to have bills and loans to pay off.

They say they will listen, but we don't want them to pity us.

They say they promise, but we don't want them to make empty commitments either.

What we want, or what I want anyway, is a government that rules by relation, not by defining what is better for us. And all that mambo jambo political and economic and law theory suggest that what is unpopular is better for Singapore, then I want my government to explain it in layman terms and not look as if they're implementing whatever because "it is good for us", because we don't want to feel passive either.

I want a ruling party that isn't complacent. But I don't want opposition for the sake of opposing either.

Those that said this election that they know times are hard, yada yada, I somehow don't buy all of it. Not all of them. But I guess during this election it was rather easy to get on the "gahmen is not caring about you!!!" wave. Like Steph said, the opposition had a lot to leverage on this time around, but talk doesn't prove that they are genuine. Applies to the ruling party too. If anyone was genuine for that matter, there really wouldn't be a need to make another look bad to make you look better, no? (And, in some really obvious cases, please not all Singaporeans are geniuses but everyone can pretty much know what is rhetoric now) There were some very respectable candidates but I'm mentioning any names.

I want my government to know what it is like to be me, or the student who feels bad in school despite working so hard, or the father who has to pay taxes, or the mother who can't look after her child because she has to work. It doesn't mean that the people who make up my government have to be deprived of proper training and quality education in Oxbridge and things like that. Neither do they all have to be from neighbourhood schools or ITE and claim to represent a segment of Singaporeans that are commonly forgotten. But I would like to know that they were never high up there in the clouds, that they have, if not experienced it themselves, made an effort to get to know the different facets of Singapore society before they attempt to be politicians so they know exactly what they are representing. I want them to be critical even of themselves and their own political alliances, and not just their opponents. I want them to speak to me as a friend and not someone who seeks support for votes.

I guess I want to feel like I know my government and they know what it is like to be me. It's getting there I suppose...but not quite.

And that's how I feel, a few thousand miles away in another continent. The views of just another random young adult who tried to be less apathetic.

Maid in Singapore

2011-04-06T22:10:00.003+08:00

Yes, the NS dude who got his maid to carry his field pack for him...the news reached Perth. My boyfriend is, of course, very angry about it, insisting that the guy has "no pride". I don't disagree. But my interest in NS...that is a story for another day.

My Aussie cousin always makes jokes about maids doing everything for Singaporeans and I don't blame her. I've seen people who've grown up terribly spoilt because they have maids. Even more worrying are those kids who grow up attached to their maids. It's sad to see kids growing so close to their maids and ending up respecting them more than their parents. I have a cousin on my dad's side who literally learnt everything from the maid. Manners... discipline. The moment the maid left, it was the end of her. There's no better way to say it. She just changed.

I had maids when I was a kid, but I don't remember having one beyond 6 years old. I remember my parents never let my brothers and I be rude to the maid or treat her like crap. She was there to fill in so my mother could be a mother. The maid will go to the market, but my mum will cook. We still had to put our plates and cups in the sink after we ate. We called our maid "jie jie".

When I was in SCGS, almost everyone had a maid. I didn't. (That worked to my advantage once. My Home Econs teacher wanted to accuse me of getting my maid to sew my toilet roll holder for me and probably give one of those "You all make your maids do everything even your homework!!!" lectures, so when I replied "no" to her "Your maid did this for you is it?", she had this dead funny "What do I say now" look on her face). I don't mean to reinforce stereotypes here, but other than Patricia and myself, I don't recall any of my friends not having a maid in SCGS. At least I know my friends treated their maids well. Quite a few of them had crappy ones...Shihui's got pregnant I think, and Kristi's threw a house party. That was wonky lol!

I don't generally have issues with families who have maids, but I just really hate seeing maids bring children up. It makes me wonder why the hell parents have kids in the first place. Yet, it's so difficult making ends meet in Singapore with only one breadwinner, and it's almost inevitable that both parents have to work to support their families. But how can parents stand seeing their kids loving their maid more than them? Or how can parents stand seeing their kids being rude and demanding to an individual that's helping out their family so much? Does having maids encourage spoilt behaviour, or are parents just not doing enough to draw boundaries?

If I could, I would choose not to have a maid when I have children because they're my children. Maybe I'll get a maid to help out with the housework, but I wouldn't want to employ one full time if I could. It's going to depend on the situation. But it sucks to see a generation of Singaporean families employing maids like a need now. Why do Singaporean kids grow up feeling like they're too good to do housework? Is too much homework a valid excuse?

Ah the questions I ask about my Singaporean upbringing even though I'm thousands of kilometres away from my beloved country.

Gender/Racial Exclusion/Discrimination and Gender Specific Behaviour

2011-01-30T20:26:00.007+08:00

I have been thinking about this for several weeks now and from the rather undecided title you can probably tell I've not laid down any concrete thoughts or stances about the issue.

Since I started working in Primary Schools under a HPB program I've noticed the following recurring behaviours amongst the kids. When asked to form groups,

1. The girls and guys will always be in separate teams, mostly because the guys don't want girls on their team, or the thinner/"scrawnier" looking boys too

2. The Malay students generally group amongst themselves, and while their solidarity is commendable (they'd rather form a team of 5 against 20 and can still win a match due to good communication/coordination/teamwork/etc) I just...don't understand why there exists a barrier between them and the students of other races

3. Most of the Eurasian/Caucasian kids, coincidentally, always somehow happen to be prefects

4. Girls refusing to take part in sports (like soccer or rugby or anything that involves running or a little bit of physical effort)

Just some food for thought. I don't think I need to say that in a lot of instances, Racial Harmony is a farce. And that there are a lot of things going on even in schools that prescribe girls and boys to think and act differently. What I'm concerned about is whether these kids grow up maintaining the same attitudes they have in Primary School and whether they unintentionally perpetuate existing trends...

What was your Primary School experience like? Do you think things are the same/different? I'm not even going to say I understand where these kids come from because I was educated in an independent all girls school and I hate that I was shielded from all these things. If this is how Primary Schools have always been like... I won't be surprised but I would be so crushed if someone bursts my bubble.

I will deal with this when I sort out my assignments, Summer School is such a pain!

Damn, Education, Education

2010-12-22T02:29:00.005+08:00

“A friend was applying for an American university and asked me to help him with his personal statement. The following ensued:
“The question says to write on an issue of local, personal, national, or international concern and its importance to me. Any ideas?”

He produced a notebook and on each page was a mind-map on trending topics. International terrorism, the rise of China, climate change were in the mix. It looked like a standard list of pretty much what is happening in the world. All that we had learnt in school.

“I can probably relate the rise of China to Singapore since Singapore has to cope with a more assertive China in the region. And probably talk about terrorism since Singapore being an international hub is vulnerable…”

I felt vaguely uncomfortable listening to him. Something was amiss.

“But how are these issues important to you? I mean, yea, these issues are important. But why and how are they important to you on a personal basis? How is it important to you as a human being, as a person? ”

At these words, we both stopped stunned, as both of us slowly understood what I spurted out. After that meditative silence, my friend spoke.

“I have a feeling that education has taught me all about this world, but nothing about myself.”

And I felt immense, immense sadness.

For my friend was no simpleton. He was, objectively speaking, one of the most accomplished of my age in Singapore, perhaps easily in the top 1 percent in my batch. His paper record is impeccable – Straight As with a Higher 3 paper distinction, leadership in the student council, team captain and national champion in his sport, and an assortment of various awards and book prizes. Now a scholarship holder and an officer-to-be in the army… He was by no means one of those whose success is limited to the academic; his paper credentials suggest a more than holistic education.

But now, he has just confessed that education has not… even made him a person. He was akin to some inchoate concept of a man, some aggrandization of trophies, some hollowed husk of purposelessness.

I slumped in my chair, for I had never heard such a damning statement on our education system.”

— from Norvin Chan’s The Secret Political Blog

Kellynn's reply:

What do you guys think?

I see this happening a lot. For loads of people my age, in university, studying, say, sociology, it is a thing separate from themselves as people (which is of course highly ironic). It’s a subject to be mastered, facts to be memorised, things to be learned on an abstract and disembodied level. There is certainly some passing interest, some genuine enjoyment, but there is this strange sense of disconnect, as if studying the sociology of food is about being able to repeat facts about body image and our social delinking from the origin of food without really thinking about how we ourselves are implicated in this whole process. There is a lack of — reflection, perhaps (and now I risk coming across as a little snooty), or a certain kind of lack of self-awareness? I had a friend who, while studying for GP, memorised reams and reams of statistics to be crammed edgewise into an essay during the “A” Levels, which to me was a little baffling. I’m not saying that the act of memorising facts is a bad thing, but shouldn’t writing a GP paper be based somewhat on interest, on a personal connection with the otherwise abstract worldly issues we are writing about?

I am interested in how our education system conditions us into thinking that this is the only way to study, that this is ‘education’, a task to be accomplished like learning to fix a car or how to swim. Evidently this is not true for everybody and everyone reacts to education, is shaped by, or shapes their view of education, differently. I have many friends who feel strongly about what they study and who do not separate school from self like most Singaporean students do. And yet I also have an acquaintance who chose to major in literature simply because she scored the highest grade for its exposure module in comparison to political science and sociology. (This of course pissed me off on a very personal level, because I remain torn about my decision not to pursue lit [although day by day I am certain that I’ve done the right thing] as my first major and am weirdly envious of those who have chosen to study it, but it also just utterly confused me, because literature is something you pursue because you are passionate about it, because it is something wildly personal, and not because you can get the best on-paper grades for it.)

So why do we separate ourselves so completely from our education? Why is the failure to do so chastised as being “impractical” and “having your head in the clouds”? Is this a Singaporean thing? Is this true for other people in other countries? Is this emblematic of a lack of self-reflection (to put it kind of wankily) or of social censure of self-reflection (which is really creepy when you think about it)? What is it that makes us leery of information, education, and current issues in relation to ourselves — that makes us dismiss all these things in the (this familiar, familiar Singaporean watchword) name of “practicality”? Why am I told again and again — by the people around me, by the culture I am raised in, and by my government — that my lofty ideals (which I know are very naive and which I have only a very tenuous grasp on) are not “practical”, that they are not part of “real life”???? How is what we study not part of real life? Are we for example not faced with damaging media images of women or part of food webs or do not grapple with colonial images of “little brown brothers”? Are we not part of a political system and do we not wonder philosophically how we know the things we know or do we not read books or question what it means to be Singaporean in this day and age? Why are these things so often confined to the classroom?

I know that most of you have decided to study things that are off the beaten track in Singapore. Many of you are lit majors or political science majors or something along those lines, and I know that all of you have chosen these areas of study out of interest, out of an intimate belief that what you are educated by is inextricably interweaved with the persons that you are, and that if you were faced with the question that was posed above, you would be able to answer without isolating your self from it. Why are you this way? And because you all exist, is it really, incontrovertibly true that our education system has failed? And again, because you all exist, are you (in varying degrees) exceptions to the rule? And, again, why are you this way? Aaaand I am feeling uncomfortably judgmental here of people who do separate themselves from their education and feeling my class privilege that allows me to ask these questions and to receive this education, but I admit that I am young and stupid and overthinky and I’m going to say these things anyway.

For me, NUS — university education — is one of my favourite things. I love it. I can bleat on and on about how much I have learned and how much I have consequently grown as an individual because of it. I love everything I read, everything I hear and watch and study; I love going to lectures, I love writing papers, I love reading these novels that I would never otherwise pick up, and listening to ideas that will forever shape my perspective of the world. In one year I have learned about political imagery in architecture and the politics of climate change and methods of social research and Christian revivalism in Singapore and post-colonialism in Merle Hodge’s “Crick Crack, Monkey” and the history of food gathering and production in human society. I have debated on sustainability and the failure of massive nature conservancies and heatedly argued about the racism in Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness” despite the distancing frame narrative and jumped up and down in my seat in unbridled rage arguing about the implicit sexism of the language used in men’s magazines. I marvel all the time at all these super amazing things that I’ve been part of and feel happy and grateful that I’ve been able to learn so much from my teachers and my books and my peers. But that’s just me, and I think that my reaction is a product of a thousand things - a loving and encouraging family, open-minded and interested friends, my early use of the Internet (which I feel is pivotal), my enjoyment of books - my class, my race, my ethnicity, my specific educational background (where I skimmed just under the ‘elite’ schools while studying at Anderson Sec and St. Andrew’s, but still remain very much highly educated), my socioeconomic position which insulates me from many things - my general (personality?) enjoyment of academia, my linguistic privilege, and so on.

And so I wonder specifically why so many people complain about how boring and crappy and etc our university education system is when I find it stimulating and challenging and helpful. What specifically allowed me to fall off the radar to a certain extent (although I still remain firmly and safely on the beaten, well-trodden path to class and economic stability because of my [incidental to my enjoyment of school] good academic grades)? Obviously a lot of it’s got to do with the state, doesn’t it? Policies that inculcate this attitude towards education, playing on notions of upward social mobility and class anxiety? How class starts to perpetuate itself at the age of ten, when students are streamed, then again at the age of 12 at PSLE, and then if you get into Raffles or St. Nick’s or Hwachong you’re pretty much set, aren’t you — and how I’ve managed to sort of fall away from this ideology because I have the class and economic privilege to not worry about needing to succeed academically, and because I am privileged enough to be fairly smart so I never had to worry about “making it”? And why do many of my peers approach education the way they do - with an almost rabid singleminded focus on grades, on pleasing the lecturer, on academic paper success rather than holistic academic education, on its sheer functionality?

Ultimately (sorry for the terrible organisation of this post - I kind of wrote myself into this conclusion and understanding), I think I’ve had the luck and the privilege of not needing to adhere to the idea of education as a literal tool to economic stability and future success because I already fit the ideal that the Singaporean state demands of us, by which I mean I am (upper) middle class, Chinese, English-speaking, and perform well academically. So I have the privilege to say fuck you to the idea of education as separate from the self and have the luxury to study all kinds of abstract social theory and high-flown literary concepts and so on. So this, I think, is why I can look at education the way I do. What about you guys?

-------

When I read and hear things like this, I can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me. Did I consciously choose to pursue something fluffy like Media instead of Law (when everyone, including myself, expected me in Law School)? Yes. And I never regretted it. But did I enjoy my education in NTU? No, not a bit. It was unchallenging. And I don't mean everyone-else-sucks-so-I-am-better unchallenging (ugh please I left NTU with a fairly shitty GPA), but I found the only way I had to cope and keep up with the others often left me unable to engage my course material, i.e. memorising and memorising and regurgitating was the only way I seemed to scrape by. I felt like I was in JC all over again, but even in JC I had mugged with a certain kind of enthusiasm...maybe even willingness. I felt, in short, like I was trapped in a cycle of mindless mugging.

So back to the question...is there something wrong with me? I've always wanted to be like Kristi and Kellynn and the people she hangs out with, or like Clara and her way with words, or Alan and his tablet, or Liz Law and news. They all seem to just...get it. They all seem to have some kind of ability to grasp things so easily such that they can immerse themselves in modules of their interest. They all seem to exude some kind of genuine love for the things they do and study. Like they ooze poetry and sociology and literature. Why don't and can't I have that? I seem to have done everything right. I mean I've literally gone by the textbook of success - I was in an all girls elite school since P1, I've won model pupil awards, money from MOE, I love to read and write on my own accord...where did education fail me? I don't know...

All I know is that I have been fighting a losing battle since Secondary School. Deep down inside I knew I wasn't as academically inclined as I was told I was by virtue of my Secondary School and CCA (debates...a shameless, hopeless attempt to make myself look smarter), but I stayed put and continued fighting anyway, and left SCGS without a happy memory. I mugged through JC, and then I mugged (to tears) through my first year of university until I had enough.

The way I see it, people like Kellynn and Kristi and Clara and Alan all have something about them that will enable them to have a comfortable life even if they flunk out of school. They have practical views on life and survival in this country, hypothetically will still be amazing people if they fail splendidly, but, seriously, will come out of uni even more amazing than they already are. There's that little spark about these people, and many more I've not mentioned, and a level of intelligence or talent that I, and Jerico, and many, many other students lack.

Which is why Jerico and I both realised, at the end of the day, that even though we love so many things that are available to study in our local unis, we're still going to have to slog it out to "make it". Make what, I don't know that either. But being so...average, we feel like we've no choice but to just get that piece of paper whether we love or hate the process of not.

I'm lucky because I had the chance to start anew in Aussie, where being away from all this gives me the chance to do things differently. I was telling Kristi that I finally feel like I'm being challenged academically in a positive way, like I have time to soak in how amazing and intriguing my readings are. Maybe it's because I take less classes. Which brings me back to the point about how average I am compared to all the students my age I look up to. Unfortunately, I can't cope with the number of classes local uni requires us to take. I can't sit back and love every topic I read and breathe life into every word in my essay. I wanted to, I really, really wanted to. I really thought uni would liberate me from the mugging shit I endured for so long. But I ended up having to do things the typical way to scrape by that is mug. And I believe many others are stuck here, longing not for a quality lecturers or readings or modules, but an education system that encourages and allows them to soak up all the amazing things available in our universities.

So I have gone around in circles and whined pitifully about how sad my academic life is (hur hur), but that's exactly what I think our education system needs. It needs life. It needs...it needs to remember that studying is not learning and learning doesn't only mean studying. It needs a fucking attitude overhaul. It all sounds so simple isn't it? Maybe I'm wording it wrong. I can't think straight...I have discussed our education system with Jerico so many times but I always ended up feeling so unsatisfied.

What an uncoherently put together blog post but I could go on and on and on...nevermind it's 3.17 am. I handed in a big assignment a few hours ago so fuck it.

Good journalism afflicts the comfortable

2010-10-28T12:36:00.001+08:00

...and it may comfort the afflicted.

That was my Journalism tutor's response to this article by The Australian journalist Paige Taylor.

I went to j-school in Singapore and realised there was no place for that kind of journalism. I admit I'm a coward at worst, with no intention of ever attempting to act intellectual and critique the policies and practices of our government (which is why I stopped reading the Online Citizen). And I take no hardline stance against something and feel no more than a drop of concern for a lot of political issues in my country. And here in Australia I am tempted by the glitz of my Advertising and Public Relations classes, dragging my begrudging feet to class on Friday afternoons like becoming a journalist was the last thing I ever want to be.

Thank you. I needed to remember how much I love what I'm going to become. In my own way, I suppose.

2010-06-10T02:35:00.002+08:00

I am leaving in 23 days.

Right now I don't feel excited, scared or nervous. I don't feel anything at all. I don't feel anxious knowing my visa approval is screwed up (expected after getting detained last year) and I don't seem to be taking anything seriously. I don't seem to be minding the fact that I won't be able to see Jerico for five months. I just am not feeling all these things I am supposed to feel. This is really the worst time to be thinking, "Why am I doing this?" This is the worst time to be thinking about what-could-have-beens. This is the wrong time to be thinking about so, so many things.

I just want to see you.

One Week Into Work

2010-04-24T14:20:00.003+08:00

I have ended my first week at work, underpaid, overfed, and treated like a speck of dust. This morning I wanted to go to the pre-enrollment reception at WKWSCI to help out, but the red eye Jeri noticed when he tucked me into bed yesterday had turned into, well, a non eye (it was glued down by some kind of dried pus). It's been about a month since I gave up my place in NTU (yes, now you all know - I dropped out of university), and sometimes I feel I can't go back and face other people who were brave enough to face up to the reality of a fairly rigid, mundane curriculum (in my humble opinion). And do it happily and obligingly.

I received my student visa application form and pre-departure guidebook yesterday, a timely and rude reminder that while I work under a chef that only has a Primary School education, and report to a manager that can't spell 'Tanjong Pagar' and 'upset' ('upsad'), I'm still 'better than them' in this society. They look at my opportunities longingly and regret not having studied harder, and they make jokes about me quitting my job because someone with my educational background shouldn't be a waitress.

It would make life so much easier if I never got down from that cloud of mine and continued believing that I am superior to these people by virtue of my education. But I keep putting myself in these situations not to make myself feel superior but to humble myself in a manner that my parents never taught me to. You don't need to go on an overseas community involvement trip to make yourself feel all warm and fuzzy and "I am so lucky I am never taking anything for granted again".

What I hate so much about my country now is the group of people sorely lacking a sense of reality that are so quick to judge who is and is not 'useful', and who does or does not matter.

I am no better than my manager just because I speak good and proper English. Not being able to communicate with him in his mix of Hokkien-Singlish makes me realise multiple times a day that I was once elitist in my own right and never deemed such people fit to talk to, and now I just don't know how to react to him sometimes.

There are so many people with so much more drive and ambition than I have, with goals they know they can never earn enough to achieve but continue trying anyway. There are so many who pin their hopes on their children, hoping to give them the education they never got themselves.

But there's an equally large number of people who have given up and resigned to fate, but go about their work with satisfaction , just thankful to be able to put food on the table - these are the people whom we've forgotten about not because they should be ignored but because they have found a satisfaction in their lives which I struggle to, and probably never will achieve, and don't complain.

When was the last time you realised you were no better than the person you once judged.

What do ya'll think?

2010-04-09T11:36:00.000+08:00

Diary of a reformed elitist

I AM as Rafflesian/Raffles Girls' School (RGS)/'elite' as they come. My father was a Raffles Institution boy; I went through Raffles Girls' Primary School (RGPS), RGS, then Raffles Junior College, then on to the National University of Singapore, boarding at Raffles Hall. My sisters went through much the same route. My little girls are in RGPS.

I recognise the syndrome Ms Sandra Leong talks about ('Scoring high in grades but not in values', last Saturday). I live it, breathe it. Most of my friends are like me, graduates. Most of us live in landed property, condominiums or minimally, executive condos or five-room flats. None of us talks about making ends meet, or how we must turn down medical treatment for our aged parents because we cannot find the money.

But I will add to her essay: that those traits, that aura is not unique to RGS girls. It resonates within a social group, and its aspirants, the well educated or well endowed. I hang out with so many, I have stories by the barrel.

- My doctor friend, non-RGS and one would even say anti-RGS, was shocked when she found out how many As I got in my A levels, since I opted to do an arts degree. In her words, 'I thought all arts people were dumb, that is why they go to arts'. Her own family boasts only doctors and lawyers - she said they would never contemplate any other profession - and by implication, all other professions are below those two.

- A church-mate who lived in a landed property in District 10 - definitely not an RGS girl, and I venture to guess, not even a graduate - once, in all sincerity and innocence, prayed for all those who had to take public transport and live in HDB flats, for God to give them strength to bear these trials.

- Another friend, also non-RGS and a non-graduate, shudders when she recounts the few months she lived in an HDB flat. And that was a five-room flat. Imagine the culture shock if she had lived in a three-room flat.

I continue to meet people who never visit hawker centres, who wonder why the poor people do not work harder to help themselves, who fret if their children do not get into the Gifted Education Programme (reserved for the top 1 per cent of nine-year-olds).

The pattern repeats itself in the next generation. When my 11-year-old had to go on a 'race' around Singapore, using only public transport, the teacher asked for a show of hands on how many had never taken public transport (bus and MRT) before. In a class of 30, five raised their hands. I think if the teacher had asked for those who had taken public transport fewer than 10 times in their young lives, the number would have more than doubled or tripled.

Many of us live in ivory towers. I know I did. I used to think Singapore was pretty much 'it' all - a fantastic meritocracy that allowed an 'HDB child' from a non-graduate family to make it. I boasted about our efficiency - 'you can emerge from your plane and be out in 10 minutes' - and so on.

It was not that I thought little of the rest of the world or other people; it was that I was so ensconced in my cocoon, I just thought little of anything outside my own zone. 'Snow? Yes, nice.' 'Starvation in Ethiopia? Donate $50.' The wonders of the world we lived in, the sufferings and joys of those who shared this earth were just academic knowledge to me, voraciously devoured for my essays or to hold intelligent conversations at dinner parties.

Then I lived in China for seven years. I looked on in amazement as the skinny tree trunk in front of my yard blossomed and bore pomegranates when spring thawed the ground. And marvelled at the lands that spread east, west, north and south of me as we drove and drove and drove, and never ended. I became friends and fans of colleagues and other Chinese nationals, whom so many Singapore friends had warned me to be wary of.

I realised it was not the world and other people who were limited in their intellect, in their determination, in their resourcefulness; it was me and my world views which were limited. I also know full well that if I had stayed in Singapore, in my cushy job, comfortable in my Bukit Timah home, I would have remained the same - self-sufficient. I had always believed that if I put my mind to it, I could achieve anything. For example, I used to look at sick people and root: 'Fight with all your willpower, and you will recover.' And when they did not, I'd think they had failed themselves. I, like Ms Leong, believed 'mental dexterity equated strength of character and virtue'.

But those years in China taught me terrible lessons on loneliness. I learnt that money (an expatriate pay package) and brains (suitcases of books) did not make me happier than my maid who cycled home to her family every night in minus 20 deg C on icy roads to a dinner of rice and vegetables. The past few years, I have known devastating loss and grief so deep I woke up in the morning and wondered how the sun could still shine and people could go on with their lives.

And so perhaps I have learnt the humility I lacked. Humility about how small I am in the whole schema of things. About how helpless I truly stand, with my intellect in my hands, with my million-dollar roof over my head. To remember, in the darkest valleys of my journey, it was not Ayn Rand or other Booker list authors who lifted me, but the phone calls, the kindness of strangers, that made each day a little less bleak.

And perhaps finally, to really see other people, and understand - not deflect, nor reflect their anger and viewpoints, but see their shyness, pain, struggles, joys. Just because I was 'fortunate enough' to have trawled the bottom levels. And perhaps that is the antidote to the oft unwitting elitism so many of us carry with us.

Sim Soek Tien (Ms)

http://www.straitstimes.com/ST+Forum/Online+Story/STIStory_511656.html

2010-04-03T12:45:00.006+08:00

I won't be blogging here as often anymore.

For a few years, hellodano (and acoustict) was a place where I could tell the whole world, or at least my social circle and its inherent gossip mongers, how I felt and why. People like reading the dirty laundry that other people air, and I was clearly quite good at doing the latter.

Whether it was for attention, for sympathy, or for empathy, I honestly can't remember anymore. I was childish, always tried to be mature, but never quite making it.

I wore my heart on my blog. People followed me through my one year silent war with my father, the tough times my mother was going through with her health, the excuses I made for my poor O Level performance, my college days, when I got addicted to Red Bull, my relationship with my boyfriend, the kind of music I liked, my Council days - the best and worse of my later teenage years.

It is in these blogs that I tracked my Junior College days, and they were some of the best years of my life, as were my days with Paul. I can look through them and pick out when I liked myself and when I didn't, when I dealt with situations well, and when I threw a hissy fit over nothing. They are the pieces of my (late) formative years, from the time I was sixteen till now, a reminder that the only person I could grow up to be was myself.

It was through my mindless blogging that got me readers like Charmaine, whom I met in person last year to pass her some of my JC notes, an offer to write for a health website for youths, and once, Angelique from Raining Noodles commented on my post.

But now I'm finally at a stage where I realise I don't want and need people to know what's going on with my life. I don't need to justify why I did or said something, I don't need to make excuses for what I could not accomplish. This blog has, for years, been a way to find out what others thought of me, and, ironically enough, I never cared for the way I was portraying myself on it. I tried to, here and there, but never followed through.

On June 2, 2007, I wrote "This was the month I was supposed to start my term in Australia. As the days draw nearer I think about it more. /You know, I'm glad I didn't run away in the end. I just wished I had enough courage to let go of what is present."

I think I have.

And so it goes

2010-03-29T01:37:00.003+08:00

I took the week off school that Edwin asked me to take, and I guess I'm ready to face up to a lot of things now.

But first, my deepest, most heartfelt gratitude and thanks to the people that have helped me through this rough time - my friends, my boyfriend, and my dad (surprise, surprise). Right now I don't need sympathy nor empathy, just support, and that's what you guys have given me.

The week off is, of course, also a treat since it's my birthday week, and it was one of the most memorable ones.

Alan, Clara, Edwin, Regina and I drove into the sunset in the Sunset Express (Ed's car), dared ourselves to eat hot wings (Clara, Edwin and Regina reached Level 5 and probably could go on while Alan and I gave up. Alan cried!), sped down the highway with opened windows (I could almost say it would have been the perfect way to die), and had ice cream for dessert at UDDERS.

During the dinner, I received a bouquet of lilies from Jerico, delivered by Far East Flora that got lost somewhere within Seletar Air Base and was finally hand delivered by Edwin. That was my answer to my constant probing to Alan ("Is there something going on between my boyfriend and Edwin?! Alan you wouldn't lie to me because you're my friend.")

Man, you guys are beyond awesome, and so full of win.

My Weekend in a Nutshell

2010-03-22T00:41:00.002+08:00

Jerico and I celebrated my 20th birthday way in advance on Saturday. We went to watch Disney on Ice! The last one I watched was the Disney Princess Special where Mulan had the least ice time (maybe because she's Asian? But Jasmine is black. Then again, Mulan technically isn't a Disney Princess. She's my Disney Hero.)

Disney on Ice comes to Singapore (almost) every year during the March school holidays, and since I started skating, I watched every single one. I mean it's such an easy birthday present. But then I stopped skating...till this year. So, well, for lack of a better word, it was a nostalgic experience.

I gave up taking photos after a while.

This cup with the flavoured ice costs $15. My mum would refuse to let me have one when I was younger because it's way too expensive (made in China AND it's just ice and flavouring). I finally got my hands on one! It felt like I was eating Jack Jack's brains out though.

The show itself was pretty well choreographed, but I couldn't help noticing that the only jumps attempted were double toe loops and double axels. Only two jumps out of the whole show were properly landed - One double axel by Mr. Incredible and one double toe loop by a random extra in the Pirates of the Caribbean scene.

Jeri argued that it was the end of the week and everyone was tired, but they could just do simpler jumps like a double salchow or a single axel right and not fall because it's so distracting. Buzz Lightyear fell hard on his double axel (spun on his butt), and the whole stadium went 'Ohhh...!!!" in typical fashion.

After that we walked around Kallang Leisure Park, decided to pass on bowling, had Tom's Palette at Shaw Towers, and ended up at Clark Quay where there was a bazaar going on.

Granny's Favourite and Oreo Cheesecake. I had Blueberry Cheesecake (finally) and Buttered Pecan.

Jeri said I looked Japanese last night.

10 Questions

2010-03-21T12:42:00.004+08:00

My favourite section in TIME is 10 Questions. I have the one featuring Kofi Annan on my closet door, and joining it this afternoon after I finish reading the March 29 issue is the one featuring Desmond Tutu, the South African Archbishop.

After all you've seen and endured, are you really as optimistic as your book, Made for Goodness, says you are?
Zelalem Dawit, ADDIS ABABA

I'm not optimistic, no. I'm quite different. I'm hopeful. I am a prisoner of hope. In the world, you have very bad people--Hitler, Idi Amin--and they look like they are going to win. All of them--all of them--have bitten the dust.

Do you support the appointment of gay and lesbian clergy?
Phillip Reinheimer, PENN VALLEY, CALIF.

Of course. If I don't support them, why support the appointment of any other person? Their sexuality is as much a part of who they are as my race is. They don't choose it. I don't choose it. Two of my chaplains when I was Archbishop were gay. One is now a bishop, and the other is the dean of a cathedral.

Have you ever had doubts about your faith?
Michael Stanley, LONDON

Doubts? No. Anger with God? Yes. Plenty of that. I've remonstrated with God quite frequently and said, "What the heck are you up to? Why are you letting these oppressors get away with this injustice?" But doubting that God is good? That God is love? No.

You can read the rest here

Goodnight

2010-03-18T00:41:00.006+08:00

Two hours ago I told myself I would sleep early today, thanks to sheer laziness and a stubborn refusal to finish studying the week's French lesson.

Actually, I'd prepared a cup of ice water to accompany me as I plough through my notes, but then I decided to talk to an old friend.

Mingshu and I became friends when I was 12 and he was 13 and the last time we saw each other was 7 years ago. Now we talk once or twice a year just to see how things are going. He's not really a cynic but he's not the most positive about life. I don't know. I know my place, I know I'm hardly anybody to him and so I don't probe, but when I do need a wake up call about something bugging me, I talk to him and he unknowingly gives me the support I need, or straightens out my thinking.

And gosh, the way I am dealing with things right now, I really do need an emotional slap of some sort.

I rarely post anything contemplative on this blog anymore. Not that I have to prove to anyone that I am capable of any other kind of thinking other than a shallow one of course.

But how can I write something I'm not even clear about? I can barely remember how everything started getting so screwed up, let alone articulate coherently to anybody I can find that would let me confide in him.

Well, God made a way for me and it's not the 'way' that I prayed for. It never is. But I'll take it. I didn't deserve to get the easy way out, but it was worth a shot praying for.

What Really Happens Behind Closed Doors

2010-03-14T21:43:00.004+08:00

Everytime I spend a weekend trying to be grown up, and hence, mature, it ends up feeling like a weekend wasted.

Jerico and I have not attempted to be a grown up couple for the bulk of our weekends spent together.

Like childhood companions, we collect stuffed toys as children and name them - Daniel, Jim, Junior, Hercky, Paddy, Timbre and Xiao Wei - and then compete to see who is the better parent. Jerico has custody of Daniel and Hercky, but I wasn't impressed with him deciding to leave those two in the Cupboard Boarding School By The Bed. They've learnt to speak horrible Singlish, and the unkempt toy that Jerico sewed during Home Economics in Secondary School was a bad influence.

Over at my place, Jim, Junior, Paddy and Timbre learn how to speak good British English, are proficient in breakdancing, attend singing classes (this one - not very successful) and have undergone comprehensive sex education.

Jerico teaches Daniel and Hercky about the Birds and the Bees using the "Dragon Enters the Cave" analogy.

This is what we do for hours if we have the time, and it's helped us learn a lot about how to handle adulthood.

I'm turning twenty this month, and the idea of clinging on to teenagehood, and even childhood, has been bugging me a lot.

Except, I realised this weekend, youth is something that is rightfully mine to keep.

------------------------------------

This is the soup that I said I was going to make for Jeri.

A Cardboard Box.

2010-03-08T13:54:00.003+08:00

I finally finished painting the top of my IKEA cardboard box. I got the cute figures from a wall decal website!

Some touching up left to do because it's so plain, and I need to think of what to put on the sides as well.

He Doesn't Know It Yet

2010-03-03T02:22:00.002+08:00

But I am going to boil a pot of soup for Jerico this weekend because he's been outfield for two weeks.

So far I've cooked fried rice, tomato based spaghetti, and Aglio Olio for him. Man, I don't really care if I am reinforcing gender stereotypes. I love cleaning and cooking and I actually think I'm quite good at it.

And home cooked meals are cheaper.

AND he always does the dishes, which I hate, because dishwashing sponges are so germy.

Recess Week!

2010-02-28T19:27:00.002+08:00

Gosh it's just been the worst first half of a semester ever. Thank God for these breaks. I don't think I could continue without them. I mean I've been having 7 day work weeks at more than 12 hours each and I think everyone in school is going through the same shit.

Of course there's still a 202 test to study for, a chateau-load of French to revise, things to write, documents to get printed. Oh joy, really.

What have been the highlights of my life?

I lost my ATM card and iBanking device at the same time. Meanwhile someone decided to buy an Economics guidebook off my eBay.

I've been skating...which also means my legs have been going through some really bad torture. And although I know my limits post-injury, I still can't resist pushing myself a bit more just to get back my previous form faster.

I mean it's just so frustrating. My stamina is non existent, my jumps are inconsistent (though I've begun on axels and double Salchows, the latter of which is suddenly my arch enemy and keeps giving me knee jerks even though I used to LOVE them), my spins are horrible, and everything just feels wrong. My skates are hardly white, and I feel like a loser because I just can't afford new ones.

Coming back from skating after years of skating occasionally is easy, but skating again after three years of complete rest, almost zero skating and no physical activity - that's very hard.

I've set goals for myself for skating which I want to achieve in the next five months, and school is just not letting me reach them. From the next half of the semester onwards, I refuse to let that bitch of Creative Strategies suck up my time, even if it means I have to be anal about digression (the only thing I am good at) and make the whole group hate me because everyone's so laid back and creative and smart and ideas flow like nobody's business and I'm the one seemingly stifling them.

Oh yes, Creative Strategies. Let's just be totally, honestly frank here - Can I just say how helpless I feel in Creative Strats? Everyone's brilliant, and then there's me. I don't remember the last time I felt the "It wouldn't make a difference if I were here" feeling. No one listens to my ideas, and none of my ideas have been used anyway, hence the increasing use of "I don't know what I'm saying" when I realise no one's listening just to make it seem like it's okay to me that no one takes me seriously. I keep a lot of things unwritten but this one's just too true to not notice - I am clearly the weakest link in our group, the lowest of lowest, and the only thing I am good at is making Powerpoint Slides. Even a group member that shows up for 1 out of 5 meetings gets more respect and produces better substance than I do.

I'm just going to climb back into bed now because when I start rambling about how inadequate I am I can never seem to stop, and people just get more pissed with me, but I've been in a very "whatever" mood since Semester 2 started so...Whatever.

We Used to Say "Stab Ourselves" in JC

2010-02-23T20:18:00.004+08:00

A month ago I was kinda happy I finally got myself a freelance job, but now I regret it so, so much.

Not because I'm working myself silly (the money is pretty easy to earn) but because I've never seen such horrible editing in my life - And I am one of the victims of it.

I emailed the editor to alert her about the five zillion grammatical errors in my article, and she actually asked me which article it was and what the mistakes were. I get the feeling she may be challenging me because I doubt her ability/credibility, but even if she weren't, I still have every reason to.

And here they are (not just from MY article) - Weird sentence structure, phrases, grammar...

Southeast Asia is definitely blessed with a tropical weather, and this makes beach resorts and the lush rainforests surrounding this region the favourites among travellers. Here are some of the destinations we would recommend for a short-holiday budget trip.

Nature lovers may also busk in the amazement of Mount Merapi

Despite it's activity, authorities have assured that the Mount Merapi is still safe for climb.

By the evening, look far out into the horizon to watch the sky turn emerald as the sun sets.

Stroll down to the restaurant by the beach to enjoy some big, fat and juicy lobsters and stringrays, if you are a seafood lover.

This French-styled modern lounges comes with view of lush greenery along the busy street of Orchard Road

Started out in Singapore, and enjoys the status as one of the finest and luxurious tea brand is TWG Tea.

Other than Dempsey area at the hill top off Tanglin Road, SG Club check out the most romantic dining options located in other less well-known parts of Singapore,

If you drive, surprise your date or other half at MIMOLETTE.

Dress up and dine at Les Amis for that special anniversary, well-suited if you are aiming to impress your date with your fine taste, Les Amis should rank high on your list of places to go.

They also have an unsurpassed selection of wines to choose from, the in-house well-trained sommelier is able to dispense some good advice.

To get there, enter by Eng Neo Road, and a narrow path will lead you to this wonderful un-spoilt oasis.

Headline: What fun things to do in February?

If you want to attract someone to you see that your body is sending out the right signals across.

As they rightly say the eyes are the windows to one’s soul. The first thing that you do when you meet someone is to size them up. This is to establish that what you see is appealing.

It is always a good thing to stand out of the crowd. That is a sure shot way of getting attention from the opposite person.

If the stare turns longer then a fleeting glances than you have caught the person’s attention, for sure.

Okay enough! I think you all get the point.

Is the Chinese New Year long weekend over?

2010-02-21T14:33:00.006+08:00

I received an empty ang bao!

I don't even remember it happening.

Too many things going on and two tests with less than a day left to study. Obviously I've not studied. It's part of my resolution of not caring about things that are arbitrary, like grades.

A group meeting on Sunday in less than an hour. Really!

Someone find me some greener pastures, please.

Happy Chinese New Year!

2010-02-14T17:08:00.004+08:00

Oh I have so many overdue posts, but I can't remember what I was supposed to blog about over the week.

Jeri's brother got us both tickets for the Air Show because I love the military and I love planes and I love military planes and Jeri just...loves planes and anything aeronautical-ish.

Jeremy lent me his lens (oh reminder to self - I owe him $20 and accidentally forgot to return his lens cleaning kit) and using it made my arms ache but it was an awesome learning experience.

I should have brought my tripod.

I didn't intend to even attempt shooting nice photos because I'm no photographer. I just wanted to be able to scrutinize the little details of the planes when I got home and enjoy the display while I was there. It's different from using a bino.

Looks like a robot.

Evidently quite amused that I could see what colour the pilot was wearing when I zoomed in.

Guest star at the show.

It was really hot but I didn't get too bad a burn and hardly got a tan. Jeri's burn was pretty bad and I had to soak his face with milk when we got home.

Amazing preventive measure by the way - milk on freshly sunburnt skin. Helps to prevent a burn from peeling but can get a bit smelly though.

2010-02-06T22:05:00.003+08:00

I met Jeremy to borrow his lens for the air show and, well, for someone who looks pretty cui in school, he is actually very helpful, pretty well to do I think (stays in Serangoon Gardens and, well, has this lens), and a good boy (he drove to help his mum buy groceries).

We found shade (goodness, it is a very hot day) and he gave me a crash course on how to use it.

Or at least he told...warned me not to drop it ("But if you do it's okay because it's your camera that will break not my lens").

His camera is, expectedly, as cui as his lack of dressing sense (I just don't have an adjective for it). It is clothed in black masking tape. As in, you can't even find the buttons because it's all just under a layer of masking tape (I bet it's the one NSFs use to wrap their powder cans in). The only thing not hidden is the screen.

But it was sturdy and heavy and very comfortable to hold. And the lens - He said he brought it out to sea once and it got hit by a wave, and he panicked and sunned it to dry, and then dusted away all the salt and it still worked.

It's so old (Canon 2D) and worn out and everything is out of place or hidden, he said, "Even Jun Sen (this really pro photographer in school whom everyone knows) wouldn't know how to use this."

Suddenly my own camera looks so small and young and inexperienced.

2 Days MC and Lots to Ponder

2010-02-03T10:45:00.003+08:00

Today's the second day of my MC and I finally feel well rested. I fell asleep at 8-ish yesterday, woke up at 9 and panicked because no one called me to go online for a group meeting, and then fell back asleep till 9 this morning. I'm now quite drugged out (antibiotics are always so huge and they make me feel even more sick) and ready to climb back into bed, but my room is being sanitized.

I went for a church retreat over the weekend and didn't get enlightened, neither did I have any fun. The first day I was down with gastric, nausea and diarrhea. On the second day I started developing what has now been diagnosed as a throat infection, and on the third day I didn't even get to go home upon reaching Singapore. I headed straight to school to clear up some things, and at night, I attempted to write an article but I had reached saturation point.

I didn't come back from the retreat feeling any more certain about my faith, neither am I now 'on fire for God'. I have come back with even more questions. Throughout the whole retreat I felt left out, because the lessons taught seem to value passivity, or, as they phrase it, everything should be left up to God. Or that God is centre to our lives because our lives, well, suck.

I don't think my life sucks. I'm very satisfied with the way things are, and I attribute most, if not all things to God. I've taken years to move on from a less than desirable past, but time and time again I found that the lessons taught required me to dig out past unhappiness so that I can surrender it to God, and thus my heart will be open.

When I confided in a group mate about how I didn't want to dwell on past unhappiness, and that I had previously already 'surrendered' it, and that when I thought of it I don't feel any sadness anyway, he asked me if, in that case, do I want my life to get better.

The thing is, I don't need my life to get any better now. I have been blessed with everything I want and need, and sometimes I feel down about school, and when I am so tired, I feel like an empty void with no sense of purpose. But those moments are few and far in between, and in those moments I do turn to God.

So why is it that every church I go to uses the tactic of "Your life sucks and you need God and only God can save you" to draw people in?

To me, God seems to be downgraded to an entity that you can believe in to make your life suck a little less. And perhaps that is why so many Christians I see or know hardly turn to God in moments of happiness to give thanks. The message that is sent right from the beginning is that God is just a free counsellor, a free psychologist, disguised in euphemisms like "He will be your best friend when no one is there for you".

Which is fine by me, but it won't work on me.

Anyway, I've watched this short program countless times already

2010-02-01T20:40:00.003+08:00

Absolutely adore Mirai Nagasu. I've never felt this strongly about another skater since Michelle Kwan.

Rechargeable Batteries.

2010-01-25T23:00:00.003+08:00

I am back from three days in Pasir Ris.

The weekend getaway was what I needed. I was mostly phone free and internet free, except to check who won the US Figure Skating Championships and is going to the Winter Olympics, and to make sure I got all my modules registered for Semester 2. I am now stuck with French because I refuse to waste Friday afternoons away in a Business Management/Law lecture.

Oh well.

It was also what I didn't need at all. I dreaded opening my email when I got back, though I was happy to receive an Ebay notification saying that I just made $7.50, and relieved that my editor drafted emails for me so I didn't have to do it myself (1/4 of the work done).

It didn't really hit me how good the weekend was till I took the bus down to town today. It suddenly felt like I had just touched down in Singapore after a very long holiday.

I know I neglected a truckload of responsibilities while I was away, but I'm back and ready to face them.

But only because I have no choice.

Jeremy Abbott's Long Program, Spokane 2010

2010-01-18T14:09:00.004+08:00

I can't even remember the last time I sat through a men's figure skating free skate.

But this is so epic.

So epic.

2010-01-17T12:06:00.002+08:00

So nostalgic!

Made me remember the times when we all wore velcro Bata shoes, and then when we're a little older, some could afford cooler white Converse sneakers (I never had a pair). In Junior College no one really cared too much, except flats and neon pink shoes were unacceptable. Now, no one cares at all.

Not our teachers anyway. Maybe irritating judgmental, superficial schoolmates, lol.

DIY Day

2010-01-15T23:51:00.003+08:00

Today was one of those productive Fridays where I actually had the willpower to upload overdue photos and head down to Art Friend to get some craft supplies that will occupy me for the next three months (seeing how I always procrastinate when it comes to craft projects I keep wanting to do).

I put some old 'A' Levels material up on Ebay to sell (though I'm not sure if anyone buys exam stuff online). I was itching to put something on to sell because I finally got my Paypal account verified.

I was stuck in a situation where I took a really long time to bother about verifying my Paypal account, got pissed when they said I had to if I wanted to sell stuff, and when I finally verified it, I had nothing to sell. So I ended up selling my 'A' Level junk which I don't know why I'm still keeping.

I also made myself a new pendant -

Not the best I've done but it's always nice to have a new addition to the DIY family.

Still have two more cardboard boxes I have to finish painting, and I am selling a pair of shoes.

It's from Anna Nucci, size 36.

The Nanyang Chronicle: Online Edition

2010-01-15T01:24:00.001+08:00

Pardon the shameless publicity.

It’s been surveyed that 8/10 people don’t know that The Nanyang Chronicle, NTU’s newspaper, has an online edition.

Obviously, as the new Online Editor, I don’t want to be updating something that…only I read when I check to see if the pages are okay.

The Nanyang Chronicle Online will be going through a revamp soon (actually, we’re just adding more features to distinct it from the print version).

For now, if you’re an NTU student, do visit the website for coverage of The Merchants of Bollywood, and to win tickets to My One and Only starring Renee Zellwegger! Online exclusives to kickstart Semester 2 :)

http://www3.ntu.edu.sg/chronicle/index.html

Guilt Free - Chocolate T Shirt

2010-01-14T17:05:00.005+08:00

You’ve found the golden ticket in this final home chocolate bar tee. Unwap and expand to find a cotton tee with a gold printed design. From Issey Miyake's stable, concept label final home is the "ultimate shelter." What would you wear if you owned nothing else?

Who cares? Anything related to chocolate is good enough. I want one of these!

source

STARS Round 2 Starts Today

2010-01-11T17:29:00.003+08:00

It's that time of the year again.

You know, that time of the year where you eagerly brace yourself for rejection and silently hope to strike it big.

You know disappointment is inevitable, but you give it all you've got - your time and your attention - because it's worth it.

It is the start of many hours and days of waiting, the beginning of a process that encourages you to resign to fate but you will not succumb.

Like Black Friday we wait for the gates to open, rushing in when it does. We curse, we swear, we push, and we worry. And in securing what we desire, we revel in depriving another.

At 7 PM the floodgates will open and we will charge into a system that can hardly handle the onslaught of a single cohort to pick our modules for Semester 2 knowing that every course's vacancy has already hit the big 0.

So why do we try?

'Cause we're Singapore, Singaporeans.

pessimism at its finest

2010-01-11T00:17:00.001+08:00

School starts tomorrow.

Not a very good way to start the semester; With two articles postponed and one graphic spiked/postponed (All his graphic artists disappeared so I helped him out though I guess he didn’t need my help in the end), I am quite disappointed I guess.

Not that these things don’t happen in the real world, but I was kinda looking forward (undeservingly) to having more than one byline. I’m still struggling with my writing, still maintaining my fear of tackling new stories, and still feeling very inadequate as a whole, even after going through previous issues of NC with a red pen in hand marking out leads and how quotes are incorporated, how album and book reviews are structured, etc

So maybe it’s good that I start the Semester with an advance news writing lecture, but the thought of attending a class where the lecturer’s reputation precedes her writing in a manner that is hardly positive makes me, well, wanna shit in my pants.

You’d think that a year under Miss K would toughen you up enough.

Well, I’m a coward. Won’t hide it. Can’t hide it.

2010-01-07T23:30:00.003+08:00

Maybe I'm just really lazy, but today was the first time in a long while where I was up the whole day instead of taking naps in between whatever I do (which is more or less eat, sleep, and bug the admin for answers for my article).

Edwin, Supei and I made up WKWSCI Team 2 for Interschool Games (ISG) Bowling today, and while we all didn't do too well, the organisers were nice enough to tuck us in Lane 1 with Team Material Science and Engineering. Not that anyone expected anything from me, but I was really nervous at first. But Team MSE were really fun people to play with (they also sent noobs haha) and everyone was screwing up in the end (even the IVP bowlers in the next lane), so when I didn't take it too seriously, I hit 117, a new personal best.

Not that it matters, since I don't think I'm going to be touching a bowling ball in the near future.

We spent the afternoon giving Edwin a crash course in digital photography in a multistory car park till my battery went flat, and then talked cock at the top of it in Edwin's car till I had to leave to meet Kristi and Pat. My lenses definitely suck for vehicle photography and it didn't help that I'm not a very good teacher myself, but at least no one reported us for suspicious behaviour as we went around shooting random cars. Edwin said it has happened before so we planned beforehand to say we were doing a school project.

Dinner with Kristi and Pat was very much needed before the holidays end.

I needed to buy nail polish remover, because the $1.50 one my mum bought didn't work well, and I lost patience (plus the smell drove me mad) after 8 1/2 nails and left the other 1 1/2 untouched. For two days I was stuck in one of those imaginative situations where you feel irritated like hell with only one shaved arm pit because you dropped your razor and couldn't shave the other. Anyhow, they helped me solve my problem using a sample bottle of nail polish remover from a shop that I shan't name. That effectively saved me a few dollars, and I can only ever do that with Pat and Kristi.

We all bought something for ourselves that day, though they were betting that I wouldn't buy something because I was being fussy about everything. We found a necklace in F21 that was tagged $5.30, and we knew it was tagged wrongly since similar pieces cost $11, but we tried to argue for it anyway.

It worked in Topshop before - They'd tagged my tie as $9 though the rest were $19.90, and when I checked with them, the store manager obliged in letting me have it at $9 saying that it was their mistake.

Didn't work at F21, but I didn't like the necklace enough to argue that much more for it.

Dessert at Marvelous Cream, and now I'm home and ready to hibernate.

My Camera and I

2010-01-07T00:08:00.004+08:00

Since I got my DSLR, I rarely used my compact camera, though strangely I've been using my film cameras a lot more. I knew it was going to be hard choosing between the two, but it's worse now that I've got an extra lens.

When I was in Thailand, I honestly did fear giving off the wrong impression that I'm a rich tourist worthy of getting exploited, and true enough, a shop vendor did mention to my mum, "You bring big big camera, why want to pay cheap cheap?" Later that night, I decided not to bring it out to the cultural show and brought my compact instead, only to realise that poor lighting rendered my camera almost useless.

I don't know how people choose, and I'm still trying to figure out what's best for when. I saw this guy in Thailand that hung two SLRs around his neck. Obviously he didn't have to swap lenses every few minutes but he probably ended up with a neck ache.

Anyway, since I'm on the topic of Thailand and cameras, here's the remaining selects from both my SLR and my compact -

Saw these in the supermarket on the first day. I think they're bananas but they're all pinkish.

On the first day my mum and I had Japanese pasta. This beats Pasta de/da Waraku hands down. She ordered a tomato based pasta with cheese, and I had salmon and onion pasta. There were chunks of melted cheese inside my mum's pasta and mine tasted pretty unique. I think they used a miso paste, and the onions were thick but didn't leave that gross onion aftertaste in my mouth. All for less than SGD$50.

Food has got to be one of the most, if not the most value for money attraction in Thailand. They just don't cook anything wrong.

Except maybe deep fried chicks.

Mum and I had Swensens three times during the trip because it's much cheaper and we're both ice cream freaks!

I digress, but when my mum was pregnant with me, she craved for Hagen Daz (Pistachio or Choc Mint) all the time. My dad would buy it for her, but wouldn't touch it because he thinks it tastes and looks like paint. No loss for my mum, except when I came unexpectedly (I'm a premature baby), there was a full tub left.

Which grandma happily finished. Runs in the family!

During our city and temple tour, we had probably one of the best sio bak (roast pork) I've ever eaten.

Birds nest in coconut. Other than eating ice cream on consecutive days (and sometimes more than once in a day), we had a lot of coconut because mum says we need to cool down (the sun there is terrible).

That Boxing Day evening, we went to the Siam Niramat show (http://www.siamniramit.com/). I totally regretted not having my SLR on hand that night. Every photo had a really weird yellow tinge.

For 220 baht (less than SGD$10) you can feed the elephants a few bananas, and proceeds go to the local elephant conservation fund. I thought of Clara when I saw this!

Elephant statues EVERYWHERE.

And this portion of the outdoor performance still freaks me out.

We weren't allowed to bring cameras into the actual show, but I'd probably miss out on how amazing the show is if I had a camera on hand. I don't recall any local attraction that comes close to the Siam Niramit show, but you have to be there to watch it yourself.

It's 1AM now and I'm bowling for WKWSCI tomorrow with Edwin and Supei at the ISG Bowling Competition, so I should get some sleep. We're gonna get thrashed! Supei and I anyway.

The Obligatory

2010-01-03T00:05:00.005+08:00

I think it's significant that I didn't do one of those typical reflective and forward-looking posts on the actual days itself. I just don't feel like it's 2010 yet, but with all the transitions that took place in 2009, it's not surprising to me that I've eased into 2010 just like any other day.

It only made a slight difference when Jeri said, "I'm ORD-ing this year."

And here begins my Secondary School-like essay on hindsight -

I thought 2009 wasn't going to be easy with things like the release of the A Level results and enrolling into university, with close friends enlisting into National Service and others going overseas.

My assumptions weren't completely wrong. Without the regularity of school and with work (oh, and people getting attached now that the exams were over), meetings naturally dropped in numbers. But I've never felt closer to them than now, because I know they're here to stay with the effort they make to arrange dinners and movies despite circumstances.

The release of the results surprised me beyond words. I had wanted to do well but I didn't expect to. Hard work did indeed pay off but it was wrong of me to believe that university was going to be a walk in the park after how well I did. I did plan to go overseas but, newly attached and wrongly idealistic about thriving in a local university, I decided to give NTU a shot and got an acceptance letter ahead of everyone else.

As the story always goes, I did not thrive in NTU as much as I liked it, but amidst some rather crappy modules I'm aware I'll be thankful for in ten years to come, I learnt my fair share of lessons, one of which was that school wasn't teaching me at a pace I was happy with. So I made a resolution to throw myself into the deep end before the year ended, and ended up a little more confident with my first byline in the university's newspaper that cost me about $30 in cab fare.

Highlights of 2009 definitely includes traveling to Perth with Fina and Patricia, actually making some friends in university (I really thought I was going to and was fully prepared for ending up a loner), and, well, can't hide it, deciding to enter a relationship.

Something I am really thankful for - I was less sickly than in 2008, but problems (mainly my chest pains that made me scared to even sneeze, and shoulder pains) carried on well into 2009 and it was only in November that I started to feel some relief, surprisingly/not surprisingly, after making a switch from Western to traditional methods of treatment. My chest pains caused by the tissue are here to stay for a long while, but thankfully my heart is less stressed (no more life threatening exams, probably). The shoulder pains from the 2007 injury come and go, but that's a huge improvement from spending lots on physiotherapy every other week. No need to take Arcoxia and things like that, but I've developed mental crutches on things like Fastum and Rhewlin Gel, both of which I keep spamming on :( Thyroid is normal...for now.

I really prayed a lot about medical problems because there were so many things I couldn't do. Maybe I just don't have the willpower to persevere through pain, but now that I'm mostly cleared, I am optimistic about skating again after a 3 year break.

NY Resolutions? Not much. I've decided to draw more, skate more, and drink less Red Bull.

Wobbos Whines About GPA

2009-12-30T23:41:00.004+08:00

Dear diary,

Have I become a victim of The System? I certainly have. I know it because I spent one whole day getting over my GPA which is actually fairly decent. But everytime someone asks me about it, I go back to phase one: Wondering if I’ll ever make it in life.

Is this number so important? It is supposed to be. I have spent the last twelve years playing out my academic life as a number game, and losing more than winning.

It started when getting full marks for English Spelling in Primary One became a means to boasting rights and praise, but because the average could not meet the standards all the time, I spent much of my early student years as an unhappy, unfulfilled child.

Years later, I am at the highlight of my academic life - university - and even as lecturers tell you that the ‘Ten Year Series’ does not exist as a lifeline anymore, some old habits die hard and some things stay the same. As a victim of The System, I hold on tightly to tried and tested methods of studying that have earned me okay grades but have gotten me nowhere nearer to my desired future.

I am still an unhappy, unfulfilled child, thankful that I have survived this long, but hoping and praying for the chance to leave this prescribed comfort zone one day.

Till then, the numbers will never cease to matter.

Wobbos, 3.9.

x-posted from Wobbos and Prens.

Thailand

2009-12-29T08:50:00.005+08:00

2009-12-29T00:15:00.003+08:00

I want to give these children money. I really do. Because money can solve a lot of their problems.

But when you think about the syndicates they belong to, when you know that the money doesn't go to them or their families, and when you see them with their 'bosses' at the back of the market lining up to submit their earnings, it just makes the decision to drop a coin in much harder.

I didn't give anything because it just fuels a kind of industry which cannot be allowed to thrive. These kids will suffer now and I'm sorry. I really, really am. But maybe one day hundreds of kids will not have to be exploited in this same lucrative, cruel business when people stop giving instead.

Holidays FTW!

2009-12-22T21:06:00.003+08:00

I don't have much to blog about. The holidays are like that - either there's too many things to blog about, or you just don't want to do anything at all.

Kristi and I played Band Hero for about 5 hours today.

It was awesome.

2009-12-16T16:14:00.003+08:00

On Saturday Jeri and I finally got to have some good food after our trip to Old Airport Road for a good feast failed.

We were supposed to meet at 4 in town to do a little shopping, but around 3 he barged into my house like his own because he knows how to access the secret key (which my mum had to put in place because we always forget our own), and handed me a bouquet of roses which, 4 days later, still look new. So new, I won't be surprised if they were extremely convincing fakes.

I also realised at that moment that I'm not the biggest fan of pink roses but which girl doesn't love a bouquet, and one that lasts moreover.

So we had dinner at Casa Roma, which is an Italian restaurant along Bukit Timah Road that competes head on with the Pasta Fresa situated a few shops down in the same row of shops.

The only reason why they have less customers is because they are a smaller restaurant. Which, to me, also equates nicer food and less mass produced pasta sauces (think Pasta Mania or bottled sauces).

We usually don't order appetizers but that day I was starving and I'd save up for the meal anyway, so we had pan fried mushroom.

After that I had seafood ravioli and he had (boring) Carbonara. The highlight of the meal for him was his pasta but for me it was the sorbet.

Casa Roma is my mum's favorite restaurant and the orange and lemon sorbets' are two of the main reasons why.

They freeze their sorbet inside the lemon/orange peels. Okay that's purely aesthetic but I was more than happy to finish up Jeri's share of the dessert. It's like you're eating crushed, flavored ice but with the added bonus of knowing what the flavour is made of that is real fruit.

After dinner we headed to town because I was determined to see if I could produce heart shaped bokeh and here are the results -

The lens hood was supposed to be made using black construction paper but I got my paper free from MUJI (kind of, er, borrowed a piece from the pad they put there for people to test if the pens work), and cut the heart shape out using a borrowed pair of scissors from another shop in ION. You can tell that the shape was cut pretty awkwardly from the pictures.

Secured on my lens with a hair tie, Jeri and I braved the crowd to accomplish my task and finally retired after a few mediocre shots (was totally using the wrong lens) with a $1 mint ice cream sandwich each.

And now I am officially broke after that meal.

I Quit My Job & Now I'm :)

2009-12-11T20:41:00.003+08:00

I couldn't feel more relieved.

Next week there may be a chance that some of the remaining workers will be doing asset verification (yes I was doing financial auditing, or whatever it is called, and it's crazy boring) in the animal testing labs. I probably won't be able to take it very well.

My work partner and I happened to walk into a mouse testing room today and we saw a few cages of black mice completely unaware of their imminent deaths. We both knew they were probably going to be used and then disposed off but it didn't really hit us hard until about half an hour later when we returned to double check some equipment.

On the desk lay a pair of surgical scissors and a splotch of blood. When we both noticed it we gasped, or at least I did, and we left the room trying to comprehend what happened; did the mouse die, did who ever just cut it open to insert something, is there one less mouse in the cage...? One of the researchers hurried back into the room when we exited and apologized furiously for not clearing up the mess before we entered.

My partner was wearing an ACRES shirt, and I have an ACRES membership card in my wallet.

I don't care if you think I'm stupid for reacting so strongly towards what I saw. Those researchers can go about their daily lives manipulating anything from fruit flies to hamsters to sheep in the same manner I go about doing my schoolwork sometimes that is not giving a damn about it. But animal testing is something I cannot accept even if you throw out great arguments about it being useful for the greater good of society.

I don't know how Dolly the Sheep impacted me and honestly I don't care. I don't care for pre-determining the sex of my child or the colour of their eyes or the genes they will inherit from me. I don't care that I know one day I am going to suffer from a weak heart yet there may be a drug that will help me overcome it and live a hundred years more.

I know that Science has no place for me and it's okay.

I Would Blog About Work BUT I Signed a Confidentiality Agreement

2009-12-08T23:30:00.006+08:00

So I shall distract you with some random photos from the past week or so.

Went to Ah Loy Thai to eat after we found out that Old Airport Road food centre was closed due to annual cleaning :(

The chicken is to die for.

Been cooking for the both of us (okay fine thrice) because it's cheaper and, well, I am still sick from eating out after those weeks in hall eating hall canteen food which is full of MSG.

The spaghetti sauce is foolproof -

Tomato paste, salt & pepper, garlic, onions, minced beef/pork, corn (Jeri doesn't like it so I omitted it the second time), red and yellow capsicum for the taste (must have, though I always pick out the capsicum pieces), mushrooms (optional). If you want it sweet you can add ketchup, if not, Tabasco goes really well with it.

Not that any of you are going to make this.

Fireworks @ Vivocity

2009-12-02T22:59:00.002+08:00

I didn't intend to go watch the fireworks, but my mum needed someone to bring extra diapers for my niece Chloe, so I thought I might as well bring the camera down as too. Forgot the tripod, but I guess I didn't need one because, funnily enough, I was thinking of taking photos of my cousins and not the fireworks. Nice family shots when the highlight of the day was...fireworks. Tsk, priorities.

That is obviously not fireworks. It is a deliberately out-of-focus christmas tree.

More photos under the cut.

Pink.

Me-Day

2009-11-30T22:40:00.003+08:00

Last Saturday I decided to spend the day alone after doing nothing but eat and sleep on Friday. I attended my job briefing and then headed to Sitex at Expo to blow some cash, but Sitex sucked! I couldn't find anything I needed, and when I did I figured I'd probably get it for the same price online and shipped straight to my door step. If I ever need to get a new tele I'd visit an IT/electronics fair, but since I have no need for one, Sitex was a waste of my alone time and a disappointment.

In the end I got a new wireless mouse since I broke my Arc Mouse (sigh, one of the few things that contributes to good self esteem because everyone compliments my Arc Mouse).

Determined not to let anything ruin my day I ventured further in to Expo and found a John Littles warehouse sale. Caught in between saving for the gadgets I had intended to buy and spending since I had already put myself into that mindset (this is such an uncool adult thing to admit and do but I plan my spending days wisely), I decided to stock up on makeup I had run out on. E.L.F was on discount at 2 for $12 (1 for $6.90) but when I saw the queue I decided I'd rather get them online, and it's cheaper too.

In the end I bought Cleo magazine and sat at the bus stop to wait for Matheus, and ended up passive smoking and watching plains fly past at the same time.

Only Matheus didn't turn up at the bus stop (his church service ended later than I thought it did) so I met Chin Meng and Perdana for dinner first at Chicago Steakhouse in Cineleisure. Food was mediocre for the price but we got a free drink and ice cream.

And then we watched New Moon at 11.20PM from the first row in the theatre and I fell asleep for a few minutes a couple of times because Mat lent me his corduroy jacket which was so comfortable. When I wasn't sleeping Mat and I were bitching about how ugly Edward is (he also thinks Jacob is ugly) and how cool Dakota Fanning is (she was pretty much the only thing I liked in the show).

Ugh I sound incredibly boring but I supposed I couldn't save a boring day in writing.

Anyone Can Be Messy

2009-11-27T22:15:00.004+08:00

And it's very okay to be messy when you are having examinations and living in a hostel with no one to nag at you about the mess. Ironically it's during exams that I loosen up a bit about neatness. But never cleanliness - floor has to be cleaned every morning.

By the way I have a really disgusting pimple wedged between my right nostril and my cheek (I have no idea how to describe the position). It's one of those painful pimples full of pus.

I tried using the Nexcare Acne Patch by 3M to help improve the situation but it doesn't work. I've used it before and it didn't work, so I guess this pretty much convinces me never to buy it again.

More random things that I kept in my room to survive -

Soft Shell Crab Pringles, feng you because I kept getting gastric/indigestion but after awhile applying on my tummy just became routine and I actually love the smell (kind of a comfort thing), some kind of vitamin which my mum insists I should take and I do for very helpful placebo effect, hairband because there's no time to get a fringe cut, bowl and dishwashing liquid.

Red Bull (very, very essential), Birds Nest from Jeri's mum, Brands Essence Berry for my eyes to relax (really), random biscuits/cereal in the Tupperwear, and medicine box because I'm a problematic weak sickly kid.

I never really felt like I was dependent on too many things during the exams though I am openly dependent on Red Bull, but woah it's madness the number of little things I just listed out.

Fruit Loops and the End of Exams

2009-11-26T00:57:00.009+08:00

Since the 'A' Levels ended, and after a series of post-A Level picture posts about my 'A' Level journey, I decided that I do like documenting (or just pic-spamming) how I got through it all, so I did the same for my first University exam.

My breakfast for the past few days (if I have the appetite and time)

I can't believe Wei Jie and Edwin think it's childish to eat Fruit Loops at this age. Edwin likes Honey Stars. A colourful tropical Toucan is definitely less childish than a stupid Bear who thinks he can be an astronaut.

Today in University Exams

2009-11-23T22:12:00.002+08:00

Today they asked us to explain two benefits of advertising to a trade delegate from North Korea and I had to read and reread the sentence three times to make sure it wasn't lying because my reaction was like, "WHAT? North Korea TRADES?"

(I mean, obviously I know it does, but if you compared it to Singapore you might as well say it doesn't)

So I began my answer with, "Assuming that North Korea would actually send a trade delegate to Singapore, and not their naval ship, and the purpose of this question is to explain the values of advertising and NOT propaganda as stated" and then I struck it. Actually, I made sure I doodled over it clean.

I reminded myself that this is an exam and NOT a COM203 discussion board, a place where I seem to have developed a habit of shooting my mouth off and living to regret it later because there is no delete/edit button.

By the way, I researched about Singapore-NK trade while typing this, and the North Korean Foreign Trade Minister did indeed visit Singapore! I should have known this. I usually know these things. Thank goodness I cancelled what I wrote or I'd definitely get marked down for being another ignorant kid who is in University for the sake of it.

All It Took Was A Facebook Post

2009-11-22T00:56:00.003+08:00

Fitrina's Facebook wall post ("i don't know what i am doing in such a course anymore."), and the reactions to it, pretty much sums up everything I feel about University in Singapore.

The thing about this course is that some people are just so brilliant already, without degrees to prove it. To quote Edwin, "You just need to throw a stone in any random direction and it'll hit someone who's already so good at what they do." There is no level playing field here.

Though, that is not my main gripe.

This school, to me, makes it feel like a crime to want to learn more about what you want to do, or if you're unsure, it seems almost unforgivable if you didn't enter the school with a clear vision of what you want to do.

When I entered I thought maybe I could explore photojournalism, even if it weren't my first career choice.

But then there are future photojournalists with prior experience outside of university congregating together so certain of their livelihood that I've more or less decided not to wreck the harmony that exists within their community.

I abandon the thought of wanting to learn more about photography through this course and bury myself in the Clubsnap Forum instead, while turning to plan A (be a journalist, write hard news) only to find myself in the same sticky situation because of no portfolio to boast about.

And, when I look at what's left of my options, the only thing left to achieve is that elusive 5.0 GPA. The same option that everyone else who was left behind before the race even started has to chase.

It saddens me so much that I know of people who entered Wee Kim Wee more certain about the majors they want to embark on than I ever could be are feeling demoralized about the prospects of them succeeding in the future before they even finish just one semester.

It sickens me that we are forced into mugging ourselves silly over things that are, granted, the foundations we need to have, but these modules could seem much less pointless if only we could convince ourselves that we can actually progress after laying the foundation and pursue what we want, and not, "Let's just do Communication Research because there's no point training to be journalists/PR personnel/pursuing broadcast."

I have lamented about how pointless University has been for me so far, but I don't want others to feel that way too. I don't know whose fault it is that such a large group of people are questioning their enrollment in University so early in the course. It could be the kind of education system we were brought up in, or it could be the school environment.

There are bound to be good and average people in every school, but in a school like Wee Kim Wee, the situation is slightly more complex because everyone got in with outstanding academic results, or convinced their way to a place through the interviews (this is, some say, second to Law for Humanities in how stringent it can be with enrollment after all). Just getting a place in this school is something to be proud about, but in trying to play catch up we all seem to forget that.

I don't know what else to say. The exams are ending and will end, and many that are complaining now will forget what they've questioned about the system as they partake in their post-exam plans. But I'll continue searching my place in The Wee Kim Wee School.

This Morning on Facebook

2009-11-20T09:41:00.004+08:00

I have to agree with Nat. And there's so many other things I hate about the system in NTU that supposedly gives us a 'holistic education' (you can probably guess I'm talking about the elective modules). I was telling Kristi about it yesterday and she responded correctly that it's unfair how so many people manage to cheat the system.

I remember swearing under my breath when I heard our dean saying that in America, people take a standard of fifteen academic credits as opposed to our standard eighteen/nineteen (and crazy people who try to take 22/23 like me and I really regret it okay!).

I won't go into detail because I should be very satisfied with the way things are right now, and anyway I have five more papers to study for.

Sunday Morning Insecurities

2009-11-15T11:26:00.005+08:00

It's a Sunday morning and I could be anywhere else, but I am in my hostel preparing to start studying. I haven't been able to see my family and my boyfriend and my friends very much these two weeks, but in less than twelve days now, I will be able to eat some good home cooked food, go on a food hunt with Jeri and go on holiday with just my mum.

This is just little of what it is like to be away from home, and it doesn't scare me as much as it saddens me.

Spending much of my teenage years wishing myself away from my dysfunctional parents, I now wait for every moment I can spend with them (individually though, not together, because they work best like that). I really miss my elder brother when he's away on competition though he's been traveling all his life and even spent two years in New Zealand. And my younger brother and I don't get along much but sometimes both of us are left alone at home and instead of keeping to myself I make an effort to watch cooking shows with him.

And, since I'm not the most sociable, I've only got a small group of close friends, and it bugs me day after day how they all have their own good friends. Like I have no idea what's going on in Mel's life and anything I know about her now is from a third party, and Kristi's got her intellectual Law School friends, and Fina has Pat/Pat has Fina, and Stef's poly schedule clashes with Fina's/my uni schedule, and Clique21 is everywhere, and sometimes I still wonder if my friends in university actually like me or do they hang out with me by obligation (but that has been something I've battled my whole life).

It's going to be difficult when I eventually have to be away from them for months on end, but many have done it and lived to tell the tale. If I don't, then at least I tried to take a chance at growing up.

But why bother myself with these thoughts now? I still have four months of being nineteen.

Growing Up

2009-11-06T22:26:00.002+08:00

"(Growing Up) was praised for its convincing performances, high quality scriptwriting and credible depiction of Singapore in the formative post separation years."

Haha, we all did think it was damn good then didn't we. Our standards have really multiplied, but I do have fond memories of watching this show with my mum when I was still in Primary School, and televisions were still real fat.

It's re-running now on Channel 5 by the way.

Mr Wobbos and Friends

2009-11-06T11:59:00.002+08:00

People have been telling me (okay, just Edwin Clara Regina and Alan) to do a little more for Mr. Wobbos, so now...

Mr Wobbos and Friends are on Tumblr

Enjoying my last year as an angsty teenager

2009-11-05T21:35:00.009+08:00

Why do I belittle myself as a Communication Studies student with no opinion on anything? Why do I feel apathetic towards all these pressing media issues?

Actually, I finally realise that I'm not.

I used to think I was, till I started realising that many people in the 203 discussion board don't have valuable opinions.

It's just a breeding ground for re-written, re-worded ideas that have been mentioned time and again.

Like me, many just want to chalk up as much participation marks as they can get. I admit that I am guilty of rehashing ideas, and I am even more guilty of rehashing ideas in simple English so that people can, well, just rephrase my rehashed ideas and pass them off as their own too.

But unlike the others, I try to avoid using some kind of "I am like, freaking smart and know the industry like the back of my hand" tone.

I hate to say this, but I think many people in the COM203 discussion board they take it upon their highly knowledgeable selves to diss the whole damn media industry to make themselves look good and analytical and whatnot because the questions/topics normally allow us to do so.

Which is why my discussion board post went from "Let's just see what I can churn out to get my participation marks" to "Gosh I can't stand some of my peers with regards to this topic!"

And I ended up with this immature teenage-angst filled post not exactly worthy of the COM203 discussion board, so for record purposes I shall blog and tweak it. I am not proud of it but meh I am hardly proud of anything I produce.

While I have to jump on the bandwagon and agree that MDA's role as promoter and regulator are indeed contradictory, while I would really, really like to join the MDA bashing, and while I would like to hate MDA's guts for cutting all the good stuff, I don't see what is entirely wrong or puzzling about how "'initiatives that promote industry growth in the sector' covers mostly support for foreign projects".

Firstly, I am inferring that these "foreign projects" are foreign companies looking to make their projects a reality in Singapore using our creative talent/infrastructure/the works, or basically foreigner-managed/initiated projects. If MDA isn’t doing a fantastic job promoting local projects, it is still giving local talent more opportunities through foreign projects. It is telling that foreigners are willing to invest in the media industry’s creative manpower despite how conservative we are accusing the industry of being.

Well, then if MDA wanted to give local creative talent more opportunities, why get, for example, foreigner and industry expert Phil Mitchell to direct the animated film Sing to the Dawn? Or why support Rakesh Roshan’s (award winning Bollywood director) film that was shot here, when they could have freed up resources for a local film project?

My answer to that is: Why not? We already rant on and on about the low standards of script writing and such, and to begin with, some of us "pro-local production supporters" are guilty of choosing Hollywood films over local films when we visit the cinema anyway due to the long standing notion that local productions are not too good.

So what’s the harm in letting foreigners raise the bar as media here gradually (yes, though very slowly) becomes less conservative?

MDA’s role as a promoter is fulfilled by giving those that actually see potential in the media industry here, and sadly, at this point of time, many of them are foreigners. Foreigners that know, perhaps, how to make good films that aren’t controversial.

Which brings me to my second point – Do local films have to be controversial to be considered good? Just because MDA, the big bad regulator, cuts out all the good bits from local films ‘15’ and ‘Tanjong Rhu’ (oh and can someone please name some fresh examples, thank you. Just goes to show how we all blindly jump on bandwagons in our attempt to intelligently analyse the industry), it fails its job as a promoter? I think it’s rather myopic to say that the MDA is entirely stifling the local film industry with its dual role as regulator/promoter.

Local filmmakers can be successful producing high caliber non-controversial and non cut-worthy films. Chicken Rice War, One Leg Kicking and Singapore Dreaming, oh, and the said Jack Neo films (which everyone conveniently ignores when they partake in MDA bashing) – these are examples that did alright without having to play on controversy.

If more locals made an effort to start from ground zero and try to make neutral, quality films that can be appreciated by even the politically apathetic, I don’t see how MDA will have a problem supporting and promoting them.

The problem is no one seems to be able to come up with ideas of such nature that can hold the local audience, so it is not entirely MDA’s fault that we don’t get good local films often enough.

Finally, let’s stop being self righteous media students for a while, and wonder if we normal people will actively support local productions. Yes, MDA’s role as a regulator AND a promoter is indeed a contradictory one that stifles the industry to some extent, I have no illusions about that. But when we local audiences are apathetic towards the industry, when we all just want to complain about how MDA cut the raunchy scenes from Moulin Rouge because our grandparents feel it was necessary, then, as Edwin Loh says, how the hell can the MDA satisfy us all?

MDA may be a pain, but give them some credit. They can’t and won’t do their job as a promoter if audiences don’t give them the incentive to (i.e. if we don’t actively demand local films, if only Roystan Tan, film enthusiasts and gang call for less regulation, they won’t have the impetus to do it quickly right?) They will continue to enjoy their power over the industry as a regulator.

And I mean it when I say stop accusing everyone else for ruining local industries when we, out of our pseudo student lives, don't give a shit about the industry to begin with (I care, but I won't preach like I actually am passionate about it).

Oh and I'm proud to say my mum loves watching local films.

While Researching on Social Media...

2009-11-03T20:39:00.004+08:00

"One of the longest running and most popular stories on the BBC website - generating millions of hits - featured a man who had been caught having sex with his goat. In a name-and-shame operation, the local magistrates had made the guy 'marry' the goat."

Okay, when I was a law intern, I thought reading the affidavits of this really weird six year divorce case was as interesting as life could get. Being a communication student just made life a bit weirder.

Weekend Bug Busting

2009-11-01T19:54:00.006+08:00

I am so mad I don't even feel like typing anything that sounds like a three month old university student, and a potential journalism major for that matter, would type!

What a freaking ruined weekend!

I went back to find my whole room infested with bugs. I don't know what kind of bugs they are. They aren't bed bugs but for convenience sake I've been telling everyone they are.

They are nasty nasty bugs that appeared out of nowhere and bred to about a million.

I am NOT KIDDING ABOUT THE MILLION.

It started when I noticed some small crawling thingies crawling at the side of my bed. I just squashed them all with a tissue. Later I realised there were some on my beanie pillow.

I've had my beanie pillow since I was in primary school. It was one of those Japanese buck wheat husk pillows (Sobakawa) they advertised on TV Innovation. I bugged my mum (ugh, for lack of a better word) to buy me one and in the end she did. Since then it's been my pride and joy. Every time someone comes over I say "Check out my beanie pillow!"

Anyway I told Edwin about the problem and he suggested I wash the pillow. I SMS-ed my mum to wash it, but she replied, "Beanie cannot wash but beanie can sun", so I said okay sun it please.

When I came back home on Friday, I actually took a nap in the damn bed, but I didn't feel anything. I did, however, notice the bugs on my beanie pillow and decided I should just suck it up and throw it away before the problem got worse. I mean, it's wheat. Bugs can have a party in my pillow.

That night, I decided to change my sheets just in case, and that was when everything started.

After dumping my sheets in the washing machine, I came back to find my WHOLE FLOOR FILLED WITH THE DAMN BUGS. They are about 1mm or smaller, and they were ALL OVER MY FLOOR.

I panicked and got my mum in, and we started damage control part 1 -- spray the whole floor, wash anything that could be wash, and throw anything that had to be thrown. And then we cleaned and cleaned, and everything looked okay for a while.

The next morning, my mum moved my bed out of the room, and we sprayed it with insecticide and cleaned it once more. Jeri came over, and we didn't do anything because I was exhausted from the night before, so I took a nap while he used my laptop. We found another hiding place for the bugs (a paper bag full of stuffed toys I was intending to sort out and donate), so that had to go too. Goodbye SmallPaul, Classic Poo and the drawstring from the pants Mel Tee lent me in Sec Two.

Then we headed for dinner with his aunt, uncle, dad and bro, got some cleaning stuff, and headed back for more damage control.

We decided to empty the shelves, and we found more bugs. I put a pile of stuff from my shelf on the floor, sprayed and salvaged what I could and threw what I couldn't. But I left one pile of sentimental/important stuff untouched. They seemed okay on the surface. A couple of pictures and a signed card/framed picture which my OG gave me during Orientation, and Steph's birthday present which I haven't given her.

Jeri eyed the pile and told me to check it.

Oh. My. No.

Not Steph's present.

A beanie pillow full of wheat and lavender. In a brown paper bag.

From Australia.

All the way from Australia!

Could have been optimistic, but I knew I could only expect to see, and did eventually see FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND MORE BUGS HAVING A FIELD DAY WITH ALL THAT SWEET LAVENDER AND WHEAT TREATS.

So byebye Steph's birthday present.

Thankfully my bookshelf remained relatively untouched. I would have just died if the bugs got to my books. I spent years and a lot of money collecting them, but right now I'm so paranoid, I'm probably spending my weekend in IKEA buying air tight boxes to put them in.

Sigh.

I feel so grossed out and pissed still.

(Anyway Steph, I bought you a lavender wheat bag from Aussie, the one where you could heat up and put on your body to sooth your aches, its a pity you never got to have it cos the colours were really pretty! :(:(:( )

2009-10-28T21:30:00.002+08:00

Okay, I have uploaded this just about everywhere, but I still am happy I drew this, because it takes time, and when time passes I am a few minutes closer to seeing you again. And I don't mean to be sticky, but when I think about spending a couple of months away from you (very, very much unlike when I was in Australia, and you in Tekong), I kind of feel odd.

I mean, I never meant to be in this relationship. It was accidental and we got together thanks to happy thoughts and adrenaline and ice cream. Or at least, I did. But then, as I would soon discover, after a very long while, you are the kind of person that I enjoy being with. But you are also like a slap in the face.

Meh, I would like to continue this happy sob sob entry but I discovered I have no more tissue paper in my room to blow my nose. How anti climax.

Till I Surrender My Keys

2009-10-22T09:54:00.005+08:00

I can only believe that good can come out of this.

Right now the thought of traveling an hour plus every day sits comfortably at the back of my mind, if not, the thought has taken a fairly long hiatus because it hasn't weighed heavy on my list of concerns post-hall.

I wish I could say "I have been contemplating this for a long while", because then I'd show my patience has been through a true test. But when I think about how we only started school in August I realise that I've only been staying in hall barely three months.

I don't think it shows that I cannot live independently. If anything, it actually highlights how terribly independent I am, how much I value my own space and how I function best alone.

I am not proud of being a social retard, really I'm not. And I wasn't one all my life (when I was 15 and 16 I tried to make friends with the whole world). But in all my retardedness I have found friends in university that know and respect that I need my space despite barely knowing me for a semester.

Which I find quite sweet, seeing how people who've known me for two years can't do that.

And I guess I'll miss all the good suppers to come, like the one we just had on Tuesday. Though I suppose good times are worth the occasional midnight cab fare home.

It's cheaper than my hall rental anyway.

Merlion Inspired Dress

2009-10-20T15:00:00.000+08:00

Kudos to whoever that is for being able to smile in it!

Coincidence or not

2009-10-19T10:17:00.004+08:00

Wei Hao uses this recurring line in group sharing --"If God comes to you, you want to siam also cannot"

And another recurring topic that comes up in sharing is that of driving/finding parking lots/anything related.

The former started when WH was brought to church by his employer during the period when we were getting our university postings. WH thought it would be funny to test God, so he asked, "Eh, God, you really exist then give me a place in NUS lah," and promised to join the group if he got his wish granted.

Coincidence or not, he got what he wanted a day later and is with us now, because, "Don't believe also better join wait kena struck by lightning."

The latter started when Keegan shared that he prays quite a bit when he drives, especially when he needs to find a parking lot.

Bearing the latter in mind, WH was driving himself and his brother to class, but because they were late, there were no more lots.

WH decided to try a, "Hey, God, please give me a parking lot," to which his brother responded, "Eh, don't try your Christian shit on me."

Coincidence or not, a guy comes out from nowhere, runs to his car, gets in and drives off, leaving an open lot.

The next day, WH and his brother were late again, so WH's brother urged him to "try his Christian shit again".

WH didn't reply because someone drove out of a lot in front of them. Coincidentally, maybe.

That afternoon, Jeri and I were running late and we needed to get a cab to deliver food to Pasir Ris for CI Club's chalet. I wanted to take a cab from the highway, so we could save some money by skipping the smaller roads, but he wasn't optimistic.

So I told him, "Just pray maybe a cab will come, haha." I was half joking.

And when we stepped on to the sidewalk, we got a cab. Jeri thought he could wait in the shade but we didn't need to wait at all. A coincidence, perhaps, but a much needed one.

After dropping off food at Pasir Ris (Aloha Loyang), he needed to get a cab ASAP to go home, but we weren't expecting any cabs to be in the area because it is an ulu chalet after all.

En route the main road, I said, "Maybe you could be cynical like WH's brother, and be all 'What's with all this Christian shit' and a cab will come." I didn't mean it of course, but at that moment a cab drives through the chalet exit into our paths, and Jeri gets on his cab home while I watch him leave for another week, both of us slightly amused at the day's events.

I don't go around being all preachy and evangelical because I hate that myself, and I know non-Christians hate that even more, and I don't need and want to go around proclaiming my faith because I know I am not the best, or even a good example of a Christian.

Which is why I generally never blog about these things, but with regards to this entry, I just thought there were enough useful coincidences to make me feel happy about my faith, coincidence or not, truth or not.

(Woah, okay, maybe God reads my blog, or maybe blogging about these things can be considered Praise/Worship 2.0, but after typing this I checked my email and finally got a proper reply from some people I really needed a reply from for my newspaper article. I am a bit...intimidated. lol)

Investiture

2009-10-15T21:41:00.005+08:00

Investiture was a success!

Not a mild one, but a great one.

With booze, booze, some China Apple in between, and more booze.

And even if free beer was the only reason people came down, still, thank you for eating the food that I ordered. Seeing it disappear is, of course, satisfying (since I was in charge of it).

So I've experienced both ends of the spectrum, from getting "sworn in" so called in an all too sober and formal ceremony at a cathedral in the morning --

30th Welfare Committee

To gracing my own investiture in jeans and a tshirt while getting compliments from drunk seniors and peers at night --

17th CI Club.

A predictably busy journey, but I'm not complaining. Cheers, ya'll.

2009-10-13T21:21:00.001+08:00

Lord,

I can't take this any longer.

60click

2009-10-11T18:00:00.001+08:00

Gosh I just want to study dammit. But stupid extra credit opportunities and tomorrow's group presentation is burning up lots of precious time.

I live for the end of tomorrow and the end of my speech. And then I finally have time to study. WTF.

We Were Taught that Online Content Cannot Be Wordy

2009-10-10T02:05:00.004+08:00

So here is a lousy quality picture of my adorable niece (again) uploaded using Blogger Photos. She was a good girl today. I told her I had migraine, and she didn't cry when I was napping.

Last Night

2009-10-09T10:53:00.004+08:00

I was with this doctor who's a friend of my mum, and a young boy, slightly chubby. We wre driving home when we saw a plane flying really low. We were fascinated for a while, and since there was a kid in the car we stopped to let him see.

It was a SilkAir plane. I recognized the green and white because it was flying close. In reality I'm not too familiar with aircrafts but in my dream I was absolutely certain.

Then the plane started to circle an empty plot of land, much like the one Jeri always wanted to bring me to in Sengkang, and moments later, it split into two and crashed to the ground in grand fashion.

We got out of the car and we ran. I ran the fastest, but stopped when I looked back and realised the boy and the doctor was trailing behind. Debris was flying everywhere, and at the final explosion, we all huddled together hoping to avoid getting injured.

In typical movie fashion, we turned around and looked at the now destroyed car, as closing song started playing...it was Electrico's "I Want You"...

...Oh wait a minute, that's my alarm. It's 7am. I went to bed late after 12 midnight, and fell asleep around two. There is used tissue littered on my shelf and on the floor. I was having a bad cold yesterday, and boy do I feel like shit. In fact, on hindsight, I didn't know medication bought off the shelf could be so potent.

I feel like someone's sitting on my head, and my body is begging me to stay in bed. In any case, I have snoozed my alarm several times at five minute intervals, and it is now 7.20am. I give up, and I tell Agung and Jeremy I'm sick, I won't be attending tutorial, and a few minutes later I fall back asleep...

..."We interrupt your program for a live update on the Silk Air plane that has just crashed in the middle of Singapore."

Oh, crap. I have revisited my nightmare but I'm stuck in it, I can't do anything about it.

I find out from the plane carried a group of secondary school students going overseas to perform, and an air steward called Michael Goh who was nominated for an international award called "Best Cabin Crew". He was the favourite to win. Whether the award exists or not, I begin to realise that the plane crash just killed a sizable number of innocent and talented people.

Michael Goh. Who is this Michael Goh anyway? I've never known a Michael personally in my life. I can only think of one person I know with Goh as her surname. Why do I feel so sad that he's gone? Why is there a bitter taste in my mouth, why is my stomach turning inside out, why do I feel so disgusted towards whoever cause the crash?

And then I wake up. I feel stupid for dreaming such a dream, but more accurately I feel like shit, but this time I attempt to stay awake.

Word Vomit for Blog > Word Vomit for Essay

2009-10-07T21:14:00.006+08:00

Since coming to Wee Kim Wee, I've met a lot of amazing, talented and amazingly talented people.

You know how we sometimes get this really sinful thought -- "Thank goodness for the lousier ones, or I wouldn't look as good"?

In Secondary School I used to be on the "lousier" end. I was mediocre in everything I did (studies to debates). Okay, except, I could draw pretty okay and I was top in art once. And maybe I'm good at my NAPFA.

Either way, I made a lot of people good. I had someone tell me it's thanks to me she got her distinction for Chinese (and probably A Math and E Math and Biology and Chemistry).

When I went to JC I didn't feel so bad about myself anymore, because for the first time in my life I was good at what I chose to do.

Or at least I was good relative to others. I knew I was still inadequate somehow but I chose not to think about it, and then I forgot about it.

So coming to WKW is like a slap in the face and a kick in the balls (if I had some), because everyone knows what they want to do and everyone loves what they intend to do. I'm no different. I want to write one day, and I am inclined to believe that I do write better in school than on this insignificant blog, and anyway, I'm horribly superficial and pretentious and 'act cool' on my blog but at least I admit it.

Oops, I digress.

The difference between them and me is that they're really, really good at what they do.

And since I started to realise this, I've been telling myself to play the role of making them look good.

Because, I'm sure if you're close to me you know how easily intrigued I get by talented people. In less flattering terms I'd say I get awfully star struck.

I was in the ADM library today, and buried myself in all the photography books I could get my hands on, part because I have nothing to do and also because they have Lomography books, oh my gosh! and I kept thinking, man, I really, really want to be good at this some day.

No it really wasn't an "I now want to become a photojournalist" moment. I can be pretentious but I'm not one of those irritating people who buy SLRs without knowing what those three letters stand for and then self proclaim they are damn good at taking photos.

It was more of a, "If I want to improve in something that's pure hobby then why can't I try to improve things that matter more" moment.

And then I started to realise again why I'm here.

I want to be a journalist someday, but just because I want it, I don't have to be good at it immediately, just because everyone else is. And so what if my learning curve is steep. Suck it up, tough luck.

I'm here because this is what I wanted to do. If I weren't doing what I chose to do myself, I'd be doing law.

Why are you in university...?

Anyway I do dislike it when people pretend to be really good at something. And I hate people that don't know what an SLR is too if they have one. I'm referring to this guy who totally dissed the fact that I use a Canon but he doesn't know what aperture is. Tee hee.

I Hate KFC

2009-10-07T11:47:00.000+08:00

But when I go out with the councillors, sometimes bo pian.

I like how my mood is slowly picking up.

2009-10-06T01:07:00.005+08:00

I cannot even begin to describe how relieved I feel knowing that the two big holiday assignments are over and done with. I'm satisfied enough knowing that I finished them before the due date, so I won't be worrying about my grades for now. I can worry about that later.

I surprised myself by actually sharing about my decision to quit/not quit university at church today. I've hardly spoken in the few months I've been in the group.

Okay, that just makes it crystal clear why I hardly have friends in university, but I am perfectly fine going solo. Friends are a plus and a bonus, and the ones that I've made in university are pretty awesome.

There's a lot of things to look forward to at the end of the week, but for now I need to find a caterer for investiture/handover next week, and steal Jerico's BBQ chicken wing recipe for cohesion/CI club chalet. And now that I am loaded with pocket money again, I think I should treat myself to alone-time-ice-skating.

Your Internal Liaison Officer a.k.a "Find Food Person" shall catch some shut eye now.

I Couldn't Have Spent My Recess Week Any Other Way

2009-10-04T20:31:00.002+08:00

I wanted to study hard but I did not and I'm glad I didn't.

I will hand in my school fees now, because the sad thing is after one week of sourcing, I still don't have an alternative to my current situation. My feelings towards the system will not change but I will continue to mug through it.

For now.

About Pooping

2009-10-03T12:38:00.000+08:00

COM203 Assignment

2009-10-01T17:15:00.002+08:00

Halfway there! At least I am oozing words a bit more efficiently today.

I thought 1000 words were chicken since I did a triple humanities combination in JC, but I'm realising painfully that it's easier to crap through an analytical, academic essay than to generate one thousand words worth of reflective word vomit.

The Past Few Days' Worth

2009-09-27T11:55:00.003+08:00

A few days ago Jerico and I had an amazing and amazingly expensive dinner at Ann Siang Hill (I had risotto and he had ravioli it was heaven!). Can't remember the name of the place but we'll be back once we have enough money.

After that we walked around Chinatown and I bought him a beanie dog which he called Hercules. It's a stupid name but he insists it's appropriate.

The bone was initially around the neck, and I think the I<3U on it looks damn stupid, but Jeri didn't want to throw it away so he kept using it as a pirate's eye patch for Hercky (yes, the dog has a nickname too).

We had an 07A10 class outing yesterday, kind of like a farewell for Jaime and Shauna who are both going to ANU (sigh, they lucky peeps).

On the way there, I saw something which I thought was extinct.

We wanted to cycle, but all the bikes were rented out already.

McDonalds has a new KokoKrunch McFlurry which was worth trying. It is good, but I wish they used the chocolate sundae sauce instead of the chocolate sauce that hardens.

Good Morning!

2009-09-25T08:20:00.005+08:00

I always wanted to be good at something, like everyone else has a 'something' they are good in.

This morning I realised that I was good at being the very average model student that never gets in trouble, doesn't swear or plagiarize or answer back...

But then two days ago I was very, very rude to my lecturer. So I guess my 'something' has been found, destroyed, and now I'm pretty screwed!

Another week long holiday comes by to find something I feel good about. How do people get good at stuff so easily?! How did they find their 'something' in the first place.

And so it goes...

2009-09-22T21:40:00.004+08:00

Before I resume studying I have to blog about this.

Over the past week I've been contemplating dropping out of university.

I've talked to several people about this and I've decided that I will continue and complete my freshmen year locally.

I really like my school, the friends that I've made, and I'm proud to say that I'm an active faculty member. Over the past month I've learnt more than I thought possible in that period of time, but there's much more that I am unsatisfied with and it's nothing the CI Club, or I, an Internal Liaison Officer, can change.

It isn't as simple as collecting feedback, but it's much harder than trying to apply for a new vending machine.

I've committed myself to the faculty and I am not one to go back on my word.

I wanted to leave three years ago when I was sixteen, but I stayed. I wanted to leave junior college two years ago, but I stayed. I wanted to leave this year, but I stayed. I've never given up on leaving, but I've never acted on it, so it's about time I guess.

But right now, I have obligations, responsibilities and duties as a WKWSCI student, and I'm more than happy to fulfill them while I can and should. I'm clear minded enough to know that I cannot leave without a concrete alternative, but I'm idealistic enough to know that I can get what I want if I so choose to fight for it.

My future is in limbo but one thing's for sure -- I'm so screwed for COM203 mid term tomorrow, LOL!

Whole Again

2009-09-20T17:25:00.003+08:00

Yesterday Jerico and I had dinner at NTU's cheap McDonalds and we had a long talk and now I feel much better.

He gave me these roses last week and they still look nice!

I put them in the EdveNTUre water bottle the school gave us for free.

They are starting to get a bit smelly though.

Maybe I Could Start Again

2009-09-17T00:26:00.003+08:00

This was one of the the last drawings I did before going to JC.

I haven't drawn anything since then, and this isn't even finished yet.

And I now that I feel like I need to, I don't have the time.

Oh woe is me and my busy life :(

Chunk Fest 2009

2009-09-13T21:39:00.004+08:00

Okay, the previous post was completely uncalled for.

Went down to West Mall for an U.D.D.E.R.S ice cream lunch and talk-cock with Paul. Studying on the bus was strangely productive.

Anyway, Chunk Fest 2008 looked like this --

But Chunk Fest 2009 was like this.

As usual we baby-watched but didn't manage to kidnap any, but I was happy to be laughing again after an evening tiff at Burger King.

After church Jerico surprised me with a bouquet of roses and a box of Old Longhouse popiah from Toa Payoh Lor 7 as if treating me to ice cream wasn't enough.

Apparently the bouquet looked like shit at first, but thanks to an extremely delayed service, he managed to use the extra time to pick out out-of-place leaves and flowers and saved the day.

CHECK YOUR FACTS

2009-09-10T11:14:00.005+08:00

(List of people who didn't submit their Twitter account yet)

EVIDENCE. Because journalism is all about FACT CHECKING RIGHT.

You know what I HATE? I hate people who don't acknowledge that I don't follow instructions/that I don't do my work etc etc.

Simple

2009-09-08T19:25:00.004+08:00

If someone said he'd grant me three wishes I'd wish for last Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.

Jerico came back on Saturday morning (midnight, 1am-ish) and I managed to get some of his close friends down to the airport to surprise him. Later that day we stayed at home to do nothing, except share lunch, watch tv, and ate dinner. We would have done the same thing on Sunday, but we had to drag ourselves down to Kallang to collect my $150, and then, after being disappointed at Shaw Towers (Tom's Palette was closed), we settled for $1 peppermint ice cream in bread/biscuit.

The $1 ice cream cart thingies are the best. You can bring me to U.D.D.E.R.S. or Tom's Palette and I'll say they're great, but those carts take "cheap and good" to a whole new level. I've told Jeri a couple of times that if my kids don't get to indulge in things like that, I'd feel so sad for them.

You know, I'm beginning to crave anything simple. Simple, like singing oldies in bed together with you, and seeing who can sing worse, and reminding myself during weekends that life is really much less complicated than what we learn in COM203, that life is much less daunting than a COM204 assignment.

What's New

2009-09-06T01:14:00.001+08:00

Ryan: Are those slippers new?

Me: No.

Ryan: But I've never seen them before.

Me: You've never seen my underwear before so I guess those are new too?

Oh. My. Goodness.

2009-09-03T00:27:00.003+08:00

And this is why I am still a meanie, no matter how hard I try to be nice to all girls.

):

Mr Wobbos!

2009-09-01T20:33:00.003+08:00

Whoops, increased the canvas size but didn't finish the drawing.

The rough edges just makes me regret returning the drawing tablet that SCGS loaned me for my GCSE Art O Levels! They didn't even keep a record of it, and my art teacher went back to UK anyway.

This is a spin off from a character called Farmer Poot I used to draw during my SCGS days. Mr Wobbos was inspired by a certain JC teacher.

Thank Goodness You Can't Die From Being Busy!

2009-08-29T23:52:00.000+08:00

Time is running out!

But I'm so glad for everyone's help.

This entire weekend will be spent trying to make another's happy. I vowed not to touch any school work this weekend and so far I've kept to my own word.

Exactly one week left till Jerico comes home! And only a day of the weekend left. I live for weekends.

Pick a Name-O

2009-08-27T19:48:00.003+08:00

Last week at COM205 tutorial, we had to pick an adjective to describe ourselves. The adjective had to start with the same letter as our name. I don't know what was going through my head at that time (oh, apparently nothing, because --) and I ended up picking "Dull". So I was "Dull Danielle".

I know there are better words. Dangerous. Daring. Demure. Drunk. But NO. The only other word going through my mind was 'delighted'. I don't know why! In the end, dull > delighted because we had to remember everyone elses' names and I wanted to be nice and choose something short and easy to remember.

Too damn easy to remember.

Because yesterday at COM204 tutorial, someone actually said, "Hi, your name is Dull, right?"

So I was telling this story to Edwin Loh, because we were somehow talking about names, when he told me something that made me feel so much better about my apparently obviously dull self (I honestly don't think I am dull at all).

He told me a foreigner gave herself the English name 'Clitoris'.

'Clitoris'.

It was on her resume she submitted for an internship.

Can you imagine how a job interview would be like?

"Hi my name is Clitoris."

"So why should we hire you *stifles laughter*, Clitoris?"

"I feel that my standards of performance can satisfy you."

2009-08-25T20:00:00.005+08:00

On Monday I took the train home with Good Natured Guan Cheng and Agung, an Indonesian, and we talked about the state of print media and journalism right here in Singapore. We are, after all, Communications students.

Not a particularly tiring day for me, but it was a rather stressful, taxing conversation.

It wasn't the faults of the people I was talking to, but the subject matter. In fact, I found it much easier spilling my beans to my two MRT companions than onto the COM203 discussion board.

I exited Toa Payoh MRT feeling both liberated from and tired of the debate surrounding the major I have chosen to pursue, and definitely envious of Guan Cheng and anyone else certain of majoring in public relations/advertising/research. Aside from exams, they will never, or hardly, have to face the whole media openness/political agenda/state watchdog/fifth estate thing.

And now, back from COM204 tutorial, I feel too demoralized to even think about my future. I suck at writing. The lecture kind of just "Uhmmm"-ed at my work. I know it's only the first practical writing tutorial but it pretty much confirms any doubts I had about myself.

I want to be a journalist, but I never had any political agenda, or strong political view. I'm not smart, not brilliant, but I am pretty okay. Okay enough not to flunk out of university. I've told friends, seniors, loved ones that I just want to be around news, to know and feel and experience my life changing everyday. Never mind the low pay, the terrible hours and the accountability. I want so much to be a journalist I don't mind being one of the little people whose work takes up a few square centimeters in the paper. I don't mind the lack of press freedom. I don't mind the criticism. I used to think the only thing that will prevent me from getting a job was the small market. It's more than that.

And to think I even considered law school. At least I knew my abilities then, that my grades were a product of pure slogging, that I won't be as good a lawyer as my dad is, or that I know Kristi and Yuan Kheng are going to be. At least I didn't end up insulting law school.

At least I chose to respect it.

At least I didn't become one of those students you look at and go "My goodness, why and how the hell did she get in."

But how do you go about your life not being good at anything. Because then you wouldn't know what to do with it anymore.

Friday and Saturday Unlike Any Other

2009-08-22T21:53:00.003+08:00

Friday -- On board the Falcon Princess whose external body looks like that of the Penguin Ferry that steals our boyfriends (to Tekong).

Saturday: I spent it thinking about how I'd give anything to have shared the experience with you.

Because I Want to Be Pretentious

2009-08-20T23:17:00.002+08:00

I post pictures of the bouquet that took very long to dry up.

I Want One of Those!

2009-08-19T22:56:00.004+08:00

Nothing to blog about (you can put me in ten history lectures and I won't be able to tell you something new because 1. history is old and 2. I don't understand shit!) so here are some photos of my niece Chloe which Jeri and I are super crazy over!

Not Newsworthy At All

2009-08-18T20:34:00.005+08:00

University life has been so uneventful! I can't seem to talk about anything else other than school. It's almost as if I just plunged into another kind of monotonous lifestyle.

It's only Tuesday and I'm already bored of my life. Oh, and bored of the History readings I haven't even bothered to start on.

Yesterday, my day was like this --

Tutorial at 9am that lasted for two hours, and then I had an uneventful Economics tutorial on demand and supply that was way more boring than those I had in JC. After that, I don't remember what really happened, but Oi Shan and I had lunch at Canteen B, a.k.a. NTU's worse canteen (I had noodle and vege from the tze char stall for $1.20 only so I'm not complaining, but after some terrible stories I shall avoid the Beijing stall forevermore). We spent quite a lot of time at the CATI lab using our free credit to print out History readings, and then I had a rather useless lecture from 3 to 5pm to end my day.

Today I had three lectures. The most exciting thing that happened to me was having Japanese food for dinner at Canteen 11 with Hui Huan, Jason, Oi Shan and HH's roomie. Oh, and getting the Adobe CS4 bundle thanks to directions from Jeremy and Si Yuan!

I still haven't found the damn nice teh peng that Jerico's brother told me (and warned me) about!

Other than that, I have nothing blogworthy, or newsworthy. If my life at the moment were to be judged based on the different criteria used to determine how newsworthy an event is, I am definitely epic phail.

3 A.M.

2009-08-16T02:18:00.003+08:00

She believes that life is made up of all that you're used to
And the clock on the wall has been stuck at 3 for days, and days
She thinks that happiness is the mat that sits on her doorway
But outside its stopped raining

3 A.M. Matchbox Twenty

Come home because home is where I am.

One Week Down

2009-08-15T00:20:00.005+08:00

I'm sorry I haven't blogged in this blog for a while, even though I know the only people who regularly check it are probably myself and Jeri.

Adjusting to life in university have been...easy and tough.

Getting my biological clock to work like a normal human's, i.e. waking up in the morning and sleeping when I ought to, was pretty much a breeze thanks to the lack of opportunity for afternoon naps. Other things have not been a piece of cake.

I'm pretty okay with the lectures. Some are really good.

I miss being alone most of the time. Not necessarily missing having my own room, but I miss and look forward to privacy dearly. I miss being able to control my environment -- listen to what I want to listen, or not to listen to anything at all, to hear myself think and to talk myself through things.

I value alone time so much now I would buy it. Pay lots of money for it.

I don't want to feel obligated to behave in a certain way. My life isn't meant to be shared with everyone -- why should my cleaning habits benefit us, or the food I eat be shared amongst us, or the small talk be made between us? There is a limit to the obligation I am willing to dispel from my system. There is a level of reciprocation and appreciation that I demand.

Unless you are my boyfriend, my mum, my dad, or my brothers, I do not owe anyone unconditional love or respect. Oh, and small talk.

I didn't mean for this to be entirely...moody. Before Jeri left for Taiwan he made sure I got everything out. If I am still incoherent, it's more of my beginning to miss him already, rather than the acute frustration I've accumulated over only three days.

On a happier note,

2009-08-09T21:33:00.001+08:00

One day of cleaning and two days of moving and I'm shifting tomorrow!

I Can't Believe I Still Have Them!

2009-08-09T00:48:00.004+08:00

I took photos of these two miniature bears when I was 16 (they're no more than 3 inches tall if I remember correctly). I think the sunflower came from Paul, though I'm not sure where the other flowers involved came from. I'm surprised I had them transferred from my previous 5 year old laptop to my Macbook.

At 16 I started to question my academic abilities quite harshly and I thought that if I ever flunked out of school I would want to open a pastry shop or be a photographer. I knew, at that point, there was no way in hell I could ever be a doctor because staring at my Chemistry notes, and failing it, made more sense to me than comprehending the damn thing.

These are special to me not because I think they're 'woah' (I know they're not, and don't even lecture me about the quality), but because they remind me about how I coped with my dwindling interest in academics despite coming from an elite school, how I tried to pretend I was good at something for the sake of being good at something.

Of course, taking fancy, pretentious photos isn't as impressive as knowing how to draw bonds between chemicals, or whatever it's called.

(I was so bad at Chemistry that when my Chem teacher asked me if I took the subject in JC, and I said no, she said, "Oh thank God!")

Not that it matters to me anymore. Science will haunt me later again in my university life when I have to finish up the compulsory electives, but for now, its insignificant.

Someone Tried to Ban NSFs on Public Buses!

2009-08-05T14:18:00.000+08:00

I was bringing my children home from Downtown East last friday when a group of army boys boarded the bus with us. Gosh they were so smelly and disgusting that my kids started to make sick faces at me. Their sweaty body touch mine hands and my kids and I glared at them. SAF should really ban their soldiers from taking the bus. Can't they take taxis with their pay? What are our tax payer money for? Somemore they come from tekong dunno got any germs or virus with them. Later they spread to my children and worse to us. Hope the relavant authorities take note

And after replies from other human beings like "So if it is not dirty army boys but clean guys than can touch you & your kids izit? Zzzz. Hello, they protect you, your kids & the country you live in. Give them some respect lah" ---

They were got protect? all boy scout only. plus the point is they are dirty and smelly and carry germs. What if they infect my poor children? nowadays got alot of weird disease like H1N1. Later they bring back boar flu from tekong how? and alot of people take bus in singapore one. So with their good pay from our taxpayer money, they should take cab. minimize the spread.

About people asking her what she would do if she had a child in NS --

my children are girls. and that they have to see those green smelly things is an eye sore for them. not to talk about the smell and diseases they bring. if i got grandson i will tell him to be responsible citizen and take taxi or i fetch. these ns boys parents officers and parents also too much never teach them. hope some big officer from saf see this and do something positive.

my point is this. ns boys are smelly dirty and full of virus. it pollute the common air we all breathe and it make my kids and me sick. my girl keep crying at night say that she dream of smeely green monster come and catch her away. you think lidat good for kid psychology meh. if i can i will just lock those ns boys at tekong. book out for wait. already ns shorten to 2 years. what can they learn? we don't need boy scout protect us. we need real men. so they least they can do for us is to take taxi. lidat can boost economy as well.

Thank you for your reply to topic. Really glad to see parn and Nikar support me in this issue. I am sure all of us here agree that NS boy are smelly when they book out. Mode of transportation still debatable. But I stand firm they take taxi not bus cause they not only smelly but may be carrying known virus like AIDs or maybe boar flu. This very dangerous to rest of us Singaporean. As to why I don’t take cab, I want to save my hubby money. He work so hard in this country, it is the least I can do for him.

Yeah Jerico, Jeriel, Perdana, Shih Hoong, Kai, Shaun, Zong Wei, Matheus, Calvin, Zhuang and Zhiyang also work very hard for the country! And I'm sure some of them are HIV positive and the rest have wild boar flu.

I know I am pretty slow. This came about in July but I just found it and it is absolutely hilarious.

Provoked Overweight Hamster

2009-07-27T21:36:00.001+08:00

I discovered that my hamster hated this toy of mine, so I decided to catch it on camera.

And then it got bored and went back to sleep.

Good Food, Good Company

2009-07-25T14:34:00.005+08:00

Saturdays are good days, especially when lunch's just three sotong balls and ice cream.

A few months ago I wrote out a list of ice cream places I wanted to visit. We've been to Tom's Palette and U.D.D.E.R.S, both of which we have since repeatedly visited for their great value and waffles respectively. Despite promising me last week that we'd go to Tom's Palette this week (I am such an ice cream freak), Jerico decided to source out The Ice Cream Gallery.

We picked Baileys and Rum and Raisin. It was pretty decent. They were quite generous with the raisins but there was a weird aftertaste. Not exactly worth the long bus ride down IMHO, but at least we can strike off another "To Visit" place off our list.

We headed to town for dinner, and ended up having a misadventure i.e. trying to get past NDP barricades to get to the Singapore Flyer.

More importantly, before that, I insisted on going to the Adidas shop to check out the latest Liverpool FC kit but Jerico kept insisting that we should go eat dinner. I kept asking why, and he mumbled all sorts of lame answers until he finally said, "I'm very, very hungry!", so I reminded him that he just told me he was quite full from ice cream. He gave up (I think) because he knew I suspected he had something up his sleeve (actually, I was just pissed he was giving stupid answers) so he dug into his bag.

For a moment I actually thought, "OMG HE BOUGHT ME THE NEW LIVERPOOL KIT!!!"

Turns out, he was digging for tickets he booked online to the Singapore Flyer!

In return, I mumbled a wah lao and pretended to dig into my bag for something which he assumed were also e-booking tickets to the Flyer, and he believed me and panicked a little. I am too mean.

We were lucky enough because there was an NDP preview going on, so we got to see the air displays up close, march pass (my favourite because I am a military junkie), etc.

These people were fooling around and they looked like they were wearing SAF No. 1s from above, so we decided to take a picture of what we assumed were members of the SAF. Turns out they're just people in long pants! (Just realised my camera's zoom is pretty good. I can pick out the girls from the guys because I can see their ponytails)

(Purple light, in the valley, that is where I wanna be)

Dinner at O'Learys, the same place my family celebrated my birthday. Same food, different company and drinks.

Not the sports season, so they were only showing the F1 qualifying round in Hungary I think. Still, you bring a guy to a sports restaurant, and you have a distracted guy.

As much as I love my ESPN, I prefer to concentrate on good food.

Mmmm cranberry! I feel like Pris Tan.

My prawn linguine and Jerico's Boston cheese burger. Jerico said he preferred Next Door Cafe's burger but he was still crazy over the one he had, so I guess he thinks NDC's one is epic. I can't compare the basil pasta from NDC to the prawn linguine. It's too different, but both are amazing.

Next Door Cafe is another place we both found that has great pizza and a huge selection of beer (much more than Timbre, though less than Brauhaus). If it weren't for it's location (Arab Street), I'd bring the councillors there instead of Timbre anytime.

After bleeding money this Saturday, we're going budget next week. Maxwell Food Centre.

Environmental Law and Such

2009-07-24T00:20:00.011+08:00

Got back a while ago from dinner at Chinatown and a visit to my dad's office.

I love going to my dad's office. I used to think that if I became a lawyer, I would want to work where my dad works: On the 58th story of the UOB building. Sharing the stench of midnight oil being burnt by other young, mistaken lawyers. Gazing into the amazing view so close yet made so far by thick glass windows - an ideal preventive measure that may make my occasional anxiety attacks less dangerous should they pay a visit (Methinks it has helped saved many frustrated lawyers that try to fling themselves 58 stories down, and it would save me too).

The firm's got not only one of the biggest, but one of the best law libraries. Local law books dating back to the late 1800s, their spines degenerating with the passing of time. A feast for both silverfish and I. Intellectual fodder, I like.

And then I went for an internship in a law firm and...finally ended my dilemma between journalism and law. I picked and chose the former.

I left my dad's personal library with The Thought Gang (Tibor Fischer), A Walk in the Woods (Bill Bryson), Unpopular Essays (oops can't find the author, left the book somewhere else), and Environmental Law -- The Law and Policy Relating to the Protection of the Environment.

And you probably have no idea why I borrowed the last book.

So when I tell you I enjoy reading random law texts, you will ask me (again) "Why didn't you choose law when you could?" just like Yuan Kheng always asks, and I will tell you (again) that I prefer making money for myself rather than making money off people.

That, and an ardent, undying love for chasing information, chasing knowledge.